Category: Fidos For Freedom

We Need Them

Published on by hearingelmo3 Comments

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With 3 of my 4 “heartstrings”, a group of cochlear implant ladies – some who also have Meniere’s – who connected through our hearing loss.

I am visiting my parents in Florida as I write this. I haven’t seen them in over a year, so with a lot of cajoling, I talked my husband into giving up a week of his vacation time to go see his in-laws. We went to church with them Sunday morning, and I expected a “Christmas Sermon”… not that this is a bad thing. Their pastor, however, mentioned some things that I had never thought about before, and at my age I was surprised about being made to THINK about some new things regarding the Christmas story.

He read from Luke and brought up that Mary, mother of Jesus, went to stay with friend and cousin, Elizabeth. This was right after Gabriel told her, “Guess what? You will become pregnant”. In that time a 14 or 15-year-old betrothed virgin couldn’t very well go tell mom, dad, and fiancé that she was pregnant. Women were stoned for that… not that they would have ever believed her “I’m still a virgin” story anyway. So off she went to see Elizabeth. Gabriel told her that Elizabeth, too, was miraculously pregnant – simply in a different way. Elizabeth was far past child-bearing age. Her pregnancy was also a miracle. Perhaps Gabriel was giving a hint… GO SEE HER. The pastor suggested Mary NEEDED a friend and someone who would understand. God knew this. Gabriel knew this. Mary needed someone who was pregnant that shouldn’t/couldn’t be, and someone visited by an angel. She needed a friend who was going through similar challenges.

Do We Need Friends?

I have friends from my childhood. I have friends at work. I have friends at church. But do you know the friends I depend on the most are those who struggle with invisible illness or disabilities? Like Mary seeking out a friend and confidant who was also miraculously pregnant, I have sought and found friends who are “differently abled”, who face each and every day with challenges others simply do not have.

Abraham Maslow was one of the first psychologists to suggest we need relationships; we need FRIENDS. Cherry (2012) writes of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, “Relationships such as friendships, romantic attachments, and families help fulfill this need for companionship and acceptance, as does involvement in social, community, or religious groups” (para. 6). Many professionals agree, we need friends.

I have friends that are different than me in personality, beliefs, politics, and culture. Despite these differences, they are my friend. When I’m having a really bad “tilt a whirl” kind of day, falling and bruising, and frankly SICK TO DEATH of having to deal with it all, these friends can sympathize. Yet, the friends I seek out to belly-ache, ask for advice, or beg for prayer even, are those who can EMPATHIZE.

“Empathy is the ability to mutually experience the thoughts, emotions, and direct experience of others. It goes beyond sympathy, which is a feeling of care and understanding for the suffering of others. Both words have similar usage but differ in their emotional meaning” (Difference and Comparison, 2012). My closest friends are those who can empathize. They “get it”.

People with invisible illness or disability often fall into a dangerous, self-imposed isolation. Rubinstein (2012) suggests that there is a difference between solitude and isolation. Solitude is healthy, something most of us do not take the time for, missing out on opportunities to meditate and re-charge. However, isolation is different. It is a negative thing… “We don’t feel better by spending time alone, or if we do, it is only that our anxiety about being around people is quelled” (Rubinstein, 2012, para. 2).

When my progressive hearing loss began to cause significant communication issues, I slowly but surely began to isolate myself. It took an “intervention” of sorts to wake me up to what I was doing. We may isolate from friends and family, all the while trying to convince ourselves that by doing so we help others as well.

“When I move to fast and pass out, it only upsets others, which isn’t fair to them.”
“I hate being trouble to anyone. Best I stay home.”
“My disability makes folks uncomfortable. I’m doing everyone a favor by not participating.”

I know some folks with logical reasons and sound argument for why they do not need friends “post-invisible illness or disability”. Have you ever thought, however, that even if you are better off you are robbing another of the gift of your own friendship? There are others dealing with invisible illness. If you do not make yourself available, you may miss opportunities to empathize and connect with others like yourself. Who better to recognize another with invisible or chronic health concerns, than someone who lives the same?

We need friends. Others need the gift of your own friendship. Make yourself available!

Denise Portis

Cherry, Kendra (2012). Hierarchy of Needs: The five levels of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Retrieved on December 23, 2012, from http://psychology.about.com/od/theoriesofpersonality/a/hierarchyneeds.htm

Difference and Comparison (2012). Empathy and sympathy. Retrieved on December 23, 2012, from http://www.diffen.com/difference/Empathy_vs_Sympathy.

Rubinstein, Noah (2012). Isolation: Issues treated in therapy. Retrieved December 24, 2012 from http://www.goodtherapy.org/therapy-for-isolation.html

“You are Getting Sleepier…”

Published on by hearingelmo1 Comment

— Oh for a patch of sunshine and an afternoon nap…

“You are getting sleepier…”

I could have handled a little hypnotic suggestion this past Friday. Thursday morning before going to work, my hearing assistance dog did just what she was suppose to do – sort of. I had just placed my breakfast of bacon and eggs on the table when Chloe alerted me to the front door. I went to see who was there to find the UPS man and a delivery for my husband. I should have been suspicious. Chloe normally wags and flirts with whomever is at the door, but she disappeared while I made small talk with the UPS guy.

Meandering back into the kitchen I noticed all three dogs sitting in a row, Chloe closest to the table of course. My plate was empty. As a matter of fact, it had been licked so clean it appeared to have come straight from the dishwasher. I fussed, even though I knew it was my own fault. Well-trained assistance dog – yes. Still a dog? YES.

I could have predicted the outcome, but was sort of hoping if I kept my hypothesis to myself it may not prove to be true. But my sensitive-tummy service dog was sick as a – ERM – DOG, by Thursday evening. As a matter of fact she was sick all night long. I was up every 90 minutes to 2 hours with her – for up to 30 minutes at a time. At 3:30 in the morning, I sent out an email to all my students cancelling classes. I was so tired I was hallucinating. Seriously. After taking Chloe out around 3:00 AM I was freaked out by the hundreds of mice running all over the yard – or so I thought since I was seeing things that weren’t there.

Being a person with disability, I require more sleep than an average adult anyway. It wasn’t until hound dog was feeling better Friday night that I finally got a solid nine hours of much needed sleep.

How Much Sleep Do You Need?

According to the National Sleep Foundation, average, healthy adults need 7-9 hours of sleep every night (National Sleep Foundation, 2011). While most of us very likely receive far less than that, the experts agree that this is the amount we should strive for every night. However, people who live with disability or invisible illness may actually require more. At the very least, these folks should make the 7-9 suggested hours a priority.

People with arthritis may need more sleep (Eustice, 2012), as do people with epilepsy (NYU Langone Medical Center, 2012). What can be frustrating, however, that for many living with invisible illness or disability, sleep disorders are often a co-morbid diagnosis. I know people with fibromyalgia, Lymes disease, and other chronic pain conditions that explain sleep is difficult to obtain. Your body may need extra sleep; however, because of the illness itself the person may have difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep.

Training along side of fellow clients at Fidos For Freedom, Inc., I have a new “family” of folks who have various disabilities and illnesses. Some have chronic pain conditions, some have MS, mobility issues, Parkinson’s, and hearing loss. Since getting to know them over the years, I have heard ALL of them explain they simply do not get enough sleep, or have trouble getting a full sleep cycle in each night. As a result, each have stories to tell of “things getting worse” and symptoms causing near accidents or actual falls, bumps, bruises, etc. I recall overhearing a conversation of one of the trainers talking to a newly matched client. They were falling more and having trouble with even cognitive functioning. The (wise) trainer asked them, “How much sleep are you getting?” The client explained that they were so excited about this new chapter in their life that they had trouble sleeping – night after night. They quickly surmised this may be increasing the severity of some of their disease’s symptoms. Sleep matters!

People with hearing loss may actually require more than the average 7-9 hours necessary for most adults. According to Healthy Hearing (2008), because our brain is actually more involved than our ears in communication, a tired brain can impair how well we hear. Even if we are “hearing again” with cochlear implant, BAHA, or hearing aids, sleep deprivation may impair our ability to communicate well and to maximize what we are able to hear.

People with hearing loss often forget how much harder they have to work to communicate effectively. As a result we actually tire out much faster than our normal hearing peers. If you must pay attention and concentrate wholly on a conversation to adequately understand and respond, your brain actually TIRES.

I also have Meniere’s disease, a vestibular and balance disorder. Because I have to pay attention to stepping up, stepping down, avoiding visual vertigo triggers such as ceiling fans, paying attention to my surroundings to avoid snags in carpet, etc., I actually “think my way safely” throughout each and every day. It can take a lot out of me to constantly remain on “high alert” to possible problems to avoid falls.

So Exactly How Do I get More Sleep?

There are NUMEROUS places online from which you can find information about how to get a better night’s rest. Some of these “tips” include:

1. Avoid caffeine 5-6 hours prior to when you plan to go to sleep.

2. Avoid complex carbohydrates such as breads, pasta, and sweets several hours before bed. Some experts suggest avoiding eating ANY large quantity of food before bed.

3. Avoid exercising within several hours of when you plan to go to bed.

4. Limit “light” – especially those created by many types of technology and electronics. Computers, iPads, televisions, etc., all may stimulate your brain activity and make it more difficult for you to sleep.

5. Worried? It can keep you awake. Try writing down things you need to get done the next day so you do not lay in bed worrying about remembering to do them. If you are worried about things you cannot control, try talking to someone. It doesn’t have to be a counselor – even a close friend or family member may work.

6. Try going to bed at the same time every night. Many stay up later on Friday or Saturday nights. This can actually disrupt our sleep schedule. Our bodies like routine – especially when it comes to sleep. Or, you may love sleeping in on Saturday morning. This too, can disrupt our sleep schedule. Try waking up and going to bed at the same time – no matter what day it is.

7. Many people sleep better in a dark, cool room. Do you need to purchase room darkening blinds? Maybe purchase a fan for just the bedroom?

8. Depending on who you read, opinions vary about whether or not taking an over the counter sleep aid like Tylenol PM or even Benedryl can be helpful. There are also medications specifically FOR sleep, though most warn they are not to be taken long-term. There is a new drug to hit the “over the counter” scene called “ZzzzQuil” believe it or not – made by NyQuil. It has been getting fairly positive reviews. Some may find they need a prescription sleep medication. Discuss with your doctors any risks associated with the prescription.

Do you think you are “getting by” on what sleep you are able to get? There are too many articles (written by medical experts) that show links to very serious, even life-threatening health problems for those who are chronically sleep deprived. Check out this great article by Dr. Stephanie Schupska at WebMD: Click here. “Not Enough Sleep: 7 Serious Health Risks”

Please feel free to comment and share how sleep deprivation has posed problems for you; or, ideas about how to get a better night’s rest!

Denise Portis

©2012 Personal Hearing Loss Journal

About.com Arthritis and Joint Conditions (2012). Arthritis patients need more Zzzzzz’s. Retrieved October 22, 2012 from http://arthritis.about.com/cs/betterliving/a/needmorezzzzzs.htm

Healthy Hearing (2008). Sleep your way to better hearing. Retrieved October 22, 2012 from http://www.healthyhearing.com/content/articles/Hearing-loss/Treatments/24201-Sleep-your-way-to

National Sleep Foundation. (2011). How much sleep do we really need? Retrieved October 22, 2012 from http://www.sleepfoundation.org/article/how-sleep-works/how-much-sleep-do-we-really-need

NYU Langone Medical Center. (2012). Sleep and Epilepsy. Retrieved October 22, 2012 from http://epilepsy.med.nyu.edu/living-with-epilepsy/epilepsy-and-lifestyle/sleep-and-epilepsy

What I SHOULD Have Said

Published on by hearingelmo7 Comments

I’m not really a history buff like some of my siblings, but I do like to watch the occasional autobiographical movie or read books on real people. I have, however, always been an Abraham Lincoln fan. I’m so excited about the new movie coming out and hope it does not disappoint. (Lincoln – the trailer). Needless to say, I’m also a big fan of President Lincoln’s quotations. Many of them I have memorized from my childhood and throughout my life.

In preparing for this post, a quote of President Lincoln’s came to mind: “I will prepare and some day my chance will come.”

I’m a big fan of using hindsight to our advantage. One of my favorite training exercises at Fidos For Freedom, Inc., is role playing… actually putting ourselves in scenarios where we face incredulous, doubtful strangers, belligerent business owners, or even just curious but nosy bystanders. These exercises have allowed me to practice what I need to say – not IF – but WHEN I need to have the words to explain my need for Chloe. I know I may need to defend my right to mitigate my disability with an assistance dog.

Experience Can Be a Harsh Teacher

Did you ever have something happen that was totally unfair? Feelings of righteous indignation and self-preservation well up and literally choke the words right out of you? I’m one of those poor folks who rarely says what I should have said  at exactly the right moment. Instead, my feelings are hurt; or, I’m madder than a wet hen. Not… that I’ve ever seen a wet hen despite my childhood experiences of owning and caring for chickens, but I digress..

Ever replay a hurtful or confrontational conversation over and Over and OVER again in your head… thinking about what you SHOULD have said? Well I take Abraham Lincoln’s advice to heart. “I will prepare and some day my chance will come.” Now I’m the first to admit that one can perseverate on a past hurt and be much worse off than if you just let it go. I’m a planner though (at times to a fault).

If my feelings are just hurt and it is someone I don’t know well, I just let it go (though I may replay the entire horrible episode to my patient husband). If it is someone I have a relationship with, I may decide to let them know that I didn’t like how the conversation went and came away hurt and would like to discuss it some more. However, most of the things that hurt my feelings or ruffle my – erm – feathers, are comments from total strangers or mere acquaintances.

How many of you have heard these comments? :

But you don’t LOOK sick.

You were just fine yesterday. What’s wrong today?

You are feeling poorly AGAIN?

Are you ever well?

You seemed to hear me fine the other day on the phone.

Don’t you get tired of being so lethargic?

I think you are just low-energy.

You are such a drama queen!

Are you sure it isn’t all in your head?

I love my dog too, but I don’t self-diagnose a disability just so I can be with them all day.

Maybe you should see a counselor…

I knew you the first 20 years of your life. There was nothing wrong with you then!

Is this all for attention?

Don’t you worry how your family will feel having to pick up the slack?

People with invisible disabilities, illness or chronic conditions often LOOK just fine. Being late-deafened, I speak with little or any “deaf accent” or enunciation issues. With a cochlear implant and hearing aid (a bi-modal, hearing again peep with BLING), I often hear voices well unless there is a lot of background noise. If it is a sunny day, I not only may have very little “wobble” in my step, I may actually be able to move fast. So to look at me – well, I look fine! But on rainy days or in environments with tons of LOUD surround sound, vertigo can hit me like a freight train and cause me to walk as if I’m intoxicated. I usually clam up because if I speak I may vomit. (I’m serious…)

I have friends here in Maryland, and cyber friends I have come to know across the nation – many of whom are fellow bloggers. They have fibromyalgia and/or chronic fatigue syndrome. Some have assistance dogs, some do not. Some have been diagnosed with Lymes disease. Have you ever thought about how difficult it must be to have a chronic pain condition? And oh my goodness… talk about your invisible conditions! If you don’t know the person well enough to see the pain-filled eyes or pinched expression, you would never know that every step is excruciating – that even their clothing rubbing against their skin actually hurts.

Prepare – it Empowers

Those of you who live a life described above or know someone who does, my advice is to prepare. Use hindsight to your advantage. Think about an encounter that really hurt you – or made you squawk. Chances are, you will hear it again. (I know – GROAN – right?) Plan and prepare, even practice what you will say in the future should that same thing happen again. This can actually empower you to face that “next time” with a little more certainty and courage.

But Be Careful…

I do have some warnings, however. Even good things can become bad things.

1. Don’t be consumed by the preparation.

If all you think about is being prepared for a calm but meaningful/careful reprimand, you may unleash it with venom or saccharin sweetness. Your intent becomes a premeditated choice to wound. You end up saying the wrong thing or say it unkindly and in an offensive, war-like manner.

It could also become a set-up or scenario of revenge. Trust me. You do NOT want to live that way. (Tried it – not a winner any way you look at it).

Use your time wisely in reflection and preparation, but then let it go. If you are thinking about it constantly it should “wave the red flags” for you that it has become an obsession instead of a tool to develop positive responses.

2. Don’t look for what is not there.

After wobbling into the edge of the stove and spilling my coffee, I heard my husband sigh beside me. I turned (aimed) and yelled, “What? You think I like spilling everything I carry? You think I enjoy getting burned? Do you think I…”

He cut me off with a gentle squeeze of my arm. “Denise. I sighed because someone ate all my Lucky Charms.”

OH.

If you are reading this and KNOW someone who has an invisible condition, may I give you some advice? I know it must be frustrating to not ever really understand HOW to help or WHEN to help. But the best thing you can do? Listen and believe.

Denise Portis

© 2012 Personal Hearing Loss Journal

 

 

The Road to Rescue

Published on by hearingelmoLeave a comment
Hunter with service dog, Raven.

A young woman I have come to admire, Hunter Lia Zager, received her service dog from Fidos For Freedom, Inc. where I train with Chloe. Hunter has a rare and unusual disease that even leaves her doctors stumped at times. She desperately needs the funds to get her vehicle modified for accessibility. The state is helping with a big chunk, but she still needs to raise over $12,000 herself. Hunter is only 25 years old and currently relies on (often unreliable) public transportation to go to work, doctor appointments, and much more. Imagine being limited to your home many times, simply because you lack a vehicle that can carry wheelchair, service dog, etc. Minimum donations are only $1.00 and you can donate using PayPal, or debit or credit card. If you would do two things?
1) Share this need with others on your own BLOGS.
2) Consider donating – even SMALL amounts add up.

I know times are hard for many people. However, I want to help this courageous, wonderful young woman reach her goal so that she can have reliable, accessible transportation. Please help. Please share! Thank you!

TO DONATE

Hunter’s story:

My name is Hunter Lia and for the first time in never I’m asking for help. At 25 years old I am terminal, but I have never held my arms up and said I was willing to stop my fight. 5.5 years ago I became ill with a very rare neurological disease, Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS), the most excruciating disease known to modern medicine. The road has been hard, but I am so terribly blessed to have such wonderful people and a wonderful service dog in my life who have helped carry me through the toughest of times.

This disease has consumed my entire body and caused me to reach deep stage 4. CRPS didn’t stop there, it turned my body into melting pot of other diseases. It has paralyzed areas of my body such as my intestines, which are incapable of processing food (Gastroparesis), created a neuro-cardio disease, Postural Orthostatic Tachycardic Syndrome, a neuro-pulmonary disease, Respiratory Dystonia of the Chest Wall, Spinal Stenosis, and countless other conditions and diseases. It is also now believed that on top of all this, Multiple Sclerosis (MS) might be one of my latest additions. Having every aspect of your body fail you is a tremendous burden for one to carry, especially when you’re just 25. Most 25 year olds are able to go out at night, travel, make plans for the future…for me, just the thought of that takes up all my energy. I wear devices for low hearing and low vision, but outside of attempting to take my wheelchair and service dog everywhere, it’s difficult to make my life easier and manage with a disintegrating spine, excruciating pain, and countless other symptoms and challenges.

One reason I’ve struggled so much is that my vehicle is not accessible. I traded in a SUV for a minivan in the hopes I could outfit it to all my body’s needs. I never realized the costs would be over $45,000 to adapt the vehicle. I am getting state assistance, but the last 25% is my responsibility. With all the other medical expenses I’ve had to incur, I don’t have even a fraction of the money to pay the company responsible for outfitting the car. I need your help. I am trying to raise over $12,000 to make my vehicle accessible. If I could do this, I would no longer have to worry I wouldn’t be able to keep my job and health insurance due to transportation challenges, worry about not having a vehicle in an emergency, reach doctors and specialists, and really just live life to the fullest. I know this economy is difficult, but every penny will help me reach my goal. And if that’s too difficult, passing this on would mean the world to me. Thank you for taking a moment to ready my story.

TO DONATE

Unexpected Perk, or Bother?

Published on by hearingelmo4 Comments

Several of the emails I receive through Hearing Elmo each week are questions about assistance dogs. This week is actually “Assistance Dog Awareness Week“, so I wanted to take a few minutes to talk about life with an Assistance Dog.

The first thing I always tell people who have questions is that if you are not prepared for the fact that an assistance dog will draw attention to you, then PREPARE YOURSELF. More importantly? If you are not comfortable with the attention, then an assistance dog is not for you.

Because I have a hearing loss and because I don’t hear well in stores or crowded places, I am oblivious to all the comments my family members DO hear. “Look at the dog!” “Oh look, a working dog!” “Why is that dog in here?” “Mom, why does that lady have a dog in here and why is it wearing a saddle?”

Assistance dogs lend independence to those who chose to mitigate their disability or illness with these special canines. I never worry about missing a phone call. I can do laundry without assistance from a human family member. I no longer burn supper. I always know when someone is at the door. I can shop and go out in public and never worry about not being able to bend and pick something up – important as I constantly drop things.

Some things you may not know that are actually perks of having an assistance dog?

1. Pre-Chloe, a routine doctor’s visit would result in the 3rd degree about why I always have so many bruises. It can be tiresome to field questions about whether or not I’m in an abusive relationship, when I simply fall or run into things a great deal because of Meniere’s disease. Now, Chloe lends legitimacy to those bruises. She reminds doctors why I have bruises because folks don’t go to the doctor with a dog partner if they didn’t need the assistance.

2. I’m rarely bumped into or shoved out of the way now in public. When you don’t hear well in these venues, impatient shoppers who don’t give a “fig” about why you are standing looking at dancing electronic flowers in the garden department, assume I’m being stubborn about moving to let them by. Now they see Chloe and if she doesn’t notice them and cue me, they carefully maneuver around me.

3. I never receive comments like “It’s a little early to be drinking isn’t it?” or “You should be ashamed of yourself” when I’m seen weaving a bit on rainy weather days (comments that have really been made). In the past, if I slammed into an end cap in a store, those around me assumed I was high or drunk. Now people see Chloe and think OR SAY, “Gee, it’s great she has that dog to help her”.

4. I’ve grabbed onto a fellow client’s scooter before (sorry, John) when I almost fell down. He understood. However, when what you grab is a nearby shopping cart, others aren’t as understanding. I once had a grandmotherly person stick her finger in my face and sternly say, “Let… GO”. I mumbled an apology and went my way. Now that I have Chloe, the most anyone will say in a “near swoon” moment is “Are you OK?”

Assistance dogs help people with hearing loss, mobility issues, seizure alert, PTSD, diabetes/blood sugar alerts, vision loss, balance problems, fine motor skill difficulties, and much more. I hope the next time you see someone with an assistance dog in public that you maybe take a minute and tell them that you think their independence with their canine is a great testament to courageous people. Don’t pet the dog or distract it though (grin).

Denise Portis

© 2012 Personal Hearing Loss Journal

Round and Round She Goes, Where She Stops…

Published on by hearingelmo6 Comments

… is USUALLY on her nose.

If you live with invisible disabilities or chronic illness, have you ever stopped and tried to make sense of it all? More often should I choose to do this, I find it simply doesn’t make sense. What can be more difficult, however, is trying to help someone ELSE understand what it is like to be a little “different”.

The words disability is a like a nasty tasting curse word to many. Personally? I’m not afraid of the word because it does currently define my rights under the ADA – something I wish wasn’t necessary but is in order to make sure that those who navigate life differently have the same access and rights as everyone else. I’m not here to today to discuss the WORD, however. I am here to bellyache.

A friend of mine posted a link to a terrific article currently taking up space at Invisible Illness Awareness Week. It detailed why it is important to just LISTEN sometimes. You can access the article HERE.

I belong to a number of online support groups for people with Meniere’s disease. I’ve never met anyone with symptoms exactly like mine. As a matter of fact, Meniere’s disease often frustrates perplexed physicians who are trying to help treat the disease. However, because there is no cure, one can only learn to manage and treat the symptoms. What may help one person, does not help another at all.

My assistance dog, Chloe, from Fidos For Freedom Inc., is a big blessing. Originally trained to be a hearing dog, she still performs all her hearing alerts with finesse and enthusiasm. As a matter of fact, 7 AM came WAY to early yesterday morning when my alarm went off. I tried to tell her to go back to bed and stop kissing my hand, elbow, and right ear. My husband rolled over and said, “Hello? Your alarm is going off!” Oh.

But Chloe actually helps me with far more balance related tasks each day than she does hearing alerts. I tried to “track it” one day and she performed 17 hearing alerts (alarm, kitchen timer, automatic retrieve of items I’d dropped and hadn’t heard, door knock, and cell phone ringing) and over 40 “other” tasks. (I quit counting after 40). These usually consist of directed retrieves. I drop things. I drop things a lot. Picking them up myself takes time as a bend all the way to the floor often precedes a fall. To avoid that, I simply let her get them for me. She also acts as a steady brace when I stand, sit, or go up/down stairs. She also acts as a brace if I begin to weave in a large cavernous place. The picture I chose for this post reminds me how bad my visual field was on Saturday. I ran into the mall with my husband to pick up something at a favorite store. When sound echoes, I tilt. (Picture Denise, aka Leaning Tower of Portis). Chloe has a large handle on the top of her vest that works perfectly. On my lower left is a solid helper that keeps my world from being quite so off center. I’ve been in JCPenney before and let go of her handle to look at some clothing on a sales rack. I immediately felt “swishy” because of the tall ceilings and lights. I grabbed out to keep from falling and clutched the breast of a nearby mannequin. I don’t make these things up. Thank goodness she/it wasn’t real, right?

Yet there are things Chloe cannot help me with, too. Here are some things about Meniere’s disease that surprise some folks:

1. Scrolling words or moving backgrounds on PowerPoints make me sick.

Our church places the words to songs and notes for the message on the walls in the sanctuary. This is very helpful for anyone with hearing problems… or ADHD (smile). However, sometimes there are moving points of light or star bursts that move behind the words or notes. I’m fine as long as I’M SITTING.

2. I have to sit to brush my teeth.

Yeah. I know, I know! Strange! But there is something about moving a toothbrush around in my mouth while in a standing position. I have to sit, and there are days I actually have to close my eyes on top of that!

3. Stepping down can be problematic.

This one really bugs me. On sunny days (weather is a trigger for me), I love to hike and climb around. I love rocks. Big rocks. I love heights (believe it or not). However, stepping down more than 6 inches is enough change in my altitude that I black out. It may only be for a few seconds, but if both feet are not on the ground, I’ll be picking blades of grass out of my nose hair. Chloe has learned that a “Whoa!” from me means

Move.

NOW.

4. Must… AVOID… looking… at ROTATING things (gasp)

Ceiling fans are not my friend. Neither are signs hung from ceilings when the air conditioner vents blow on them to make them twirl. For me this means heave, deep breath, heave again. I’m serious. 🙂

5. I shower while looking at my feet.

I didn’t realize how difficult it can be to get clean when you can’t look up at the shower head. Raise your eyes to reach up for shampoo or your razor? Honey? Do you want to get up close and personal to the DRAIN? Heaven help the family member who moves my shampoo or washrag from their designated place. I count on where they are so that I can shower safely… while looking at my chipped toenail polish.

6. Watching the effect of the wind can topple me too!

We’ve had some terrific storms lately. Since it has brought much needed rain, I’ve been loathe to complain. I love standing on the deck and watching the wind blowing the towering pines behind our home. Clarification: I like hanging on to the rail of our deck and watching the wind blow the towering pine trees behind our home.

7. Gingery’s Baby Pegasus can be mesmerizing to my detriment.

My daughter’s 12 pound hairless Chinese Crested likes to spin. For fun. Imagine that. It is quite captivating, but it only means CAPSIZING for me. “Look away, Denise, Look AWAY!”

8. I fuss at my son’s stomach.

My son… you know the one who was 7 weeks premature? He is 6 foot 3 inches tall. He’s a terrific kid. However, even at 21-years-old, he still needs the occasional “mama sermon”. I dare not look up, Up, UP into his eyes. One isn’t able to reiterate needed reminders when flat on the floor. Instead I point my finger and give his belly and chest “what for”. The kid laughs at me. LAUGHS. (sigh)

9. Glass elevators have speckled carpet.

I know this because I only see the carpet in glass elevators. Why not solids? Stripes? Only speckles. This confuses me.

10. I remind my doctor that I will NOT hold my breath while he’s listening to my ticker.

Because… well otherwise I’m waking up with nurses, hound dog, and doctor crowded around. (Why crowd someone who has swooned? Can I just ask that?)

Like many people who get up every morning and “manage” their symptoms, I hope perhaps I’ve helped you understand balance disorders a little better. Feel free to share your own “management techniques”.

Denise Portis

© 2012 Personal Hearing Loss Journal

Life With Someone Else’s Service Dog

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Dr. Terry Portis is director of the Center on Aging at Anne Arundel Community College (AACC) and teaches in the psychology department. He supervises 205 faculty and staff who serve 4,100 students each year. Dr. Portis  has presented dozens of workshops and written numerous articles on marketing, program design, psychology of disability and health, personal development and technology. Prior to coming to AACC, Dr. Portis was executive director of the Hearing Loss Association of America.

Terry’s wife Denise has been a client at Fidos for Freedom since 2006.  Terry has served on the Board of Directors at Fidos For Freedom since 2011.

When a person is matched with a service dog they have to make adjustments in their life, and so do the people who are around them. This is especially true for the spouse or significant other who spends a lot of time with the person matched with the dog. You may think the service dog will only change the life of the person you love. However, there are changes you should try to anticipate as well.

Be prepared

There are a few negative issues that one has to deal with when a service dog enters your life. First, service dogs are very noticeable wherever you go. Most places we go I find people to be open and accepting. However, there are small, bitter people in the world who enjoy confrontation and have a “know it all” attitude. They may think they know the law because their third cousin has taken some classes in college. Having to occasionally deal with these unpleasant people in public can be very frustrating. It may also be difficult for you to let the person you love deal with these issues by themselves. Denise spent a lot of time in training and I suspect because of decades of advocacy work, it does not bother her to have to carefully explain the law to someone trying to deny access. At Fidos For Freedom, they spend a lot of time making sure the clients are prepared for these scenarios. Even though service dogs are not as unusual as they use to be, Denise will still occasionally enter an establishment that has never seen a service dog for hearing alerts and balance assist. Because I’m her husband, sometimes it is hard to stand by and let her stand up for herself. It certainly doesn’t hurt to make sure that family members are aware of the ADA allowances for people who mitigate their disability with a service dog. There have been times that Denise has been oblivious to someone trying to get her attention to ask her to leave the store with the dog. If I’m in the vicinity, I have spoken up and explained that Chloe is a service dog and can accompany Denise.

Another thing to be prepared for is the planning needed to make even small local trips. In the summer avoiding hot asphalt is always a consideration. Looking for parking spaces near grass is a challenge. We also think about which restaurants have the best seating for us. All of these things become second nature, and I find myself thinking about these things even when I am by myself.

Enjoy the experience

These few inconveniences though, are worth it for the value that a service dog brings into a person’s life. It is reassuring to have another set of eyes and ears to help protect and alert the person you love. Service dogs build confidence and help reduce feelings of isolation that people with disabilities often experience. If I know Denise is away from home teaching or running errands, I know I can call her phone and Chloe will let her know the phone is ringing. I know if she falls or drops things, Chloe is there to assist. I actually worry about Denise far less now that Chloe is a part of her life. According to Rintala, Matamoros, and Seitz (2008), service and hearing dog recipients reduced their dependence on other persons. As Denise became more independent, I worried less and also knew she was less dependent on me. As I knew how much she valued her independence, I fully supported her training and match with Chloe.

A service dog can be a very positive experience for everyone. You also have the opportunity to be an advocate, to tell people firsthand what you have experienced and learned. Dogs that have the intelligence and temperament to be service dogs are special, and the kind of dog most of us have never seen before.

Finally, a service dog becomes a part of the family. Chloe is like an extension of Denise, so she is around all the time. As a result, I’ve become her buddy as well. She is pretty excited about my coming home from work each night. It reminds me of when my children were little and were excited that “Daddy is home!” Having Chloe in our lives has been an easy adjustment for me. Chloe has fit seamlessly into our schedule and the peace of mind I have knowing how much she watches out for Denise is really worth the wet doggie kisses she gives when our alarms go off in the morning.

Rintala, D. H., Matamoros, R., & Seitz, L. L. (2008). Effects of assistance dogs on persons with mobility or hearing impairments: A pilot study. Journal Of Rehabilitation Research & Development, 45(4), 489-503.

Denise Portis

© 2012 Personal Hearing Loss Journal

Attracting More Flies

Published on by hearingelmo1 Comment
Photo by Deborah Marcus, February 22, 2012, North Carolina

I just purchased a book through Amazon, Benjamin Franklin’s “Poor Richard’s Almanack”. I’ve always enjoyed books like these and have seen a number of quotes from this book over the years.

One American proverb from this book that many people have heard has to do with honey.

and vinegar.

and flies.

 Benjamin Franklin, “Tart words make no friends; a spoonful of honey will catch more flies than a gallon of vinegar” (Franklin, 1980).

When I first heard this quote I remember thinking, “Well who in the heck wants to attract FLIES”? Having grown up on a farm in SE Colorado, I can tell you that flies were a problem. The animals hated them, farmers hated them, and children relegated to policing the house with fly swatter and tissue in hand hated them!

However, like many quotes, you have to look past the surface to get at the true meaning. Gee, had I known vinegar would have kept them away I may have started sprinkling it around and dabbing it behind my ears.

Ok. Maybe not.

We don’t need to go raid our friend’s hives for honey, either. This quote has to do with being tactful – on purpose.

You know what I’ve discovered? To be tactful, I DO have to be purposeful about it. It is super simple to be tactless. Especially when angry! I’ve learned that if I’m to be tactful, thereby attracting more attention with my “honey”, I have to set out with very real purpose ahead of time. It seems we were created to have a lot of excess vinegar on hand.

Tart Words

I think a lot of folks do not realize that the quote begins with, “Tart words make no friends”. Last week I received a lot of private responses about the post “A Special Kind of Stupid“. Some things people with disabilities shared with me made me very upset. You just would not believe some of the things that “normal” people say to folks with invisible illnesses or disabilities. Then again, if you follow “Hearing Elmo”, perhaps you would believe it as you likely have some connection to the disability or chronic illness communities.

Though it may be difficult, we really have to remember to put a cap on our – erm – vinegar when responding to some of the stupid things we hear in our day-to-day lives.

No, She Is Really Unhappy

Take an example from last week in “A Day in the Life with a Service Dog”. At Walmart, as per my usual mid-week major errand, Chloe and I ended up attracting some attention. As I outlined in an article for Gale Hannan at “Hearing Health Mattters“, if you don’t like attention then do not mitigate your disability with an assistance dog. You are going to attract attention. It becomes easy to ignore and if you are deaf like I am, you don’t even hear all the exclamations of surprise. However, sometimes I’m stopped. Dog-lovers like Walmart… or so it would seem. Most of the time I am very glad to stop and answer questions. I carry information about hearing dogs and balance-assist dogs with me for opportunities just like these. I’ve discovered, however, that if I stand around TOO LONG, folks begin to unplug their brains before asking questions. There is this “fine line” of how much time is “long enough”, prompting me to move on with my shopping. I evidently have not discovered that important timeframe yet. As I answered this lady’s reasonable questions, a lull occured in our conversation. That should have waved the red flags for me. Heck I’d take explosions in my underclothes if I could learn to pick up these cues.

But nope.

I stuck around too long.

“So does your beautiful service dog ever get to just be a dog? Does she ever get to play?”

Vinegar began pooling under my tongue. Chalk it up to living with a house full of very sarcastic people. I wanted to say, “You know? As a service dog she needs to earn her keep. The vest comes off at night and she is allowed to finally rest. She’s a working dog – not a playing dog. It wouldn’t do me any good for her to go around thinking she could ever play, right?” (said with saccharin sweetness).

Tactful Responses Ultimately Educate

Instead I swallowed the vinegar (grimace) and plastered on my best “WHAT A TERRIFIC QUESTION” face and replied, “Well she is a dog! She is a beloved member of our family. She gets play breaks at work and doesn’t actually wear her vest at home. She still does alerts and helps while at home, but she is off duty more than she is “on”. A healthy service dog is allowed to just be a dog. That is why she loves working for me. I set very realistic boundaries and expectations”.

Being tactful and pleasant is important if I’m to hope that I play even some small part in helping to educate others about hearing loss, balance disorders, and service dogs. If I’m angry and belligerent, I’m not going to “win friends nor influence people”.

And neither will you.

However…

Is It Ever OK to “Let ‘er Rip”?

I have lived with hearing loss and balance issues more than half of my life now. That means I have some experience. That does not mean that I do everything right. Folks ask me from time to time when it is OK to put others in their place.

We can’t exactly take out a megaphone and announce to everyone within earshot, “This person just said something STUPID”.

To demean others is never the right way to go. For one thing, it only makes US look bad. You certainly won’t promote education, compassion, or understanding in others if you deliberately embarrass or fuss at them. Having said that, I do believe that there are times that responding with sweetness and “honey” may not be the right answer. After all, it may be that you no longer WANT to attract that particular person who simply cannot and WILL not treat you like a normal human being. I believe the right time to load your water pistol with vinegar occurs when:

1. You’ve responded the right way over, and OVER again.

Maybe it is a family member that thinks their comments are funny. Maybe it is a co-worker whose remarks border on the unkind. At some point you may discover that the only way to educate someone is to be a little more FRANK – pardon the pun Benjamin Franklin!

Tired of the eye rolls and deliberate condescending response at a dinner table of “I’ll tell you later” after asking for a second repeat of what someone said? Perhaps it is time you gently laid your hand on their arm and said in a normal tone (for they likely do NOT have a hearing loss), “You know? It hurts my feelings when you say that and sigh and roll your eyes. I only want to hear what you said. You never actually remember to tell me later what it was. Don’t blow me off. What was funny? I want to participate in your life. I care about these moments and we will never re-live them or have them as “do overs”. I want to know what you said because I love you”. Others at the table may have grown quiet at this calm announcement. But that can work in your favor too. Sometimes educating others occurs by observing someone else getting educated. You may have let a little vinegar taint what you said. A little “sting” may be necessary to get through to calloused hearts.

2. You respond in defense of others.

Sometimes you may need to put up the honey aside and gear up with vinegar in order to stick up for someone else. I’m much quicker to speak up to a bully when the person being picked on is NOT ME. This has to be done carefully, however, as you do not want to take away an opportunity for someone else to stand up for themselves. When you live with disability, chronic illness, or invisible differences, you need to learn to be as independent as you can. It is healthy. You may need assistance in technology, puppy power, or by swallowing your pride and learning to ask for help.

However, there are times I believe, that we should step up and even figuratively lock arms with another who is being misunderstood to let them know they are not alone, and let a bully know they are being irrational – or STUPID.

We Won’t Always Do it Right

I can be a sour puss. Vinegar is more likely to run through my veins than honey. I’m allergic to bee stings.

Sometimes I blow it. I respond as if I don’t care if someone better understands disability and hearing loss. As a person of faith, I know this dishonors not only me, but also God. I have learned to say “I’m sorry” – and really mean it. Acknowledging that you aren’t feeling well today and mis-spoke or are feeling belligerent and should have kept your mouth shut shows maturity. Did you blow it? Well make it right. You know what to do.

Franklin, B. (2007). “Poor Richard’s Almanack”. Skyhorse Publishing, Inc. New York : New York, p. 44.

Denise Portis

© 2012 Personal Hearing Loss Journal

If Fish Aren’t Stupid…

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I love it when I learn something new. Even when that learnin’ means that it contradicts something I previously thought was true. I grew up on a farm/ranch in SE Colorado. The families I knew, including our own, had all kinds of animals. Common critters included horses, cows, pig, sheep, chickens, turkeys, peacocks, ducks, geese, and even a llama or two! Something you didn’t see a lot of in the family rooms of various ranch houses were aquariums. We had some big ol’ goldfish that grew to an astonishing size in the cow tank near our house. What was even more astonishing than their size is that they survived the frozen tank winter after winter. I can’t remember who first told me that fish are stupid. This was long before “Finding Nemo” even came out in theaters, with Dory convincing us all once and for all that

fish.

are.

stupid.

After I went away to college and married a city boy, I actually lived in town big enough to have cable television. I found that I had a lot of years of catching up to do on Animal Planet, the Discovery Channel, and many other educational animal shows. However it wasn’t until my daughter’s boyfriend – the one who happens to know all there is to know about owning a freshwater tank – put up a couple of aquariums in our home on behalf of beloved daughter, that I began to see freshwater fish up close and personal. As a matter of fact a big 30 gallon tank sits behind my desk, so it is pretty hard to miss the freshwater angelfish swimming around the tank. I very soon discovered that my preconceived notion about the stupidity of fish was – well – WRONG. They really do NOT have 30 second memories. They are affectionate, can remember the easiest “trail” through the freshwater plants to circumnavigate the tank, will follow a person around the tank to “beg” for food, they can be aggressive and yet can be tame enough to actually take blood worms from your fingers. They will live in harmony with other types of fish (but not all), and seem to actually play with each other occasionally. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not ready to whip out an IQ test to see how they fare, but I really no longer believe that fish are stupid.

Other Wrongs – Now Corrected

I just turned 46-years-old this week. That is really hard for me to wrap my mind around. I remember when my mother turned 46-years-old, I was a very young and immature 23-years-old. I remember filling out her birthday card to send from my little apartment in Chattanooga to her “home on the ranch” in Colorado and thinking… “Wow. Mom is O.L.D. She is definitely entering her “senior” years now.” I’ve got to tell you now that I’m 46-years-old myself? Well, let’s just say I want to open mouth – insert foot.

I also grew up with very limited experience with any person with chronic illness or invisible disabilities. I did not have very much experience with people with even visible disabilities. Growing up in a small farming community limits one in that way I guess. It wasn’t until I became deaf and developed Meniere’s disease that I first really began meeting people of all kinds who are “differently abled”. Having an acquired disability today is much different than it use to be simply because we have the Internet that connects us to each other and to a wealth of information as well. I grew up believing that people with disabilities were to be pitied. Knowing what I know now about a community of which I am proud to be a part of, pity is the last thing any of us want. I’m constantly amazed by the perseverance and strength that I see in people with all kinds of various “differences”. I hate to even use the word disability, but it is the language present in our current laws that protect the rights of those who have them. A fellow client from Fidos For Freedom, Inc., first introduced me to the term “differently abled”. I find that this phrase much more accurately describes those who live a victorious life despite any physical, mental or emotional differences they may have. Through networks such as the Hearing Loss Association of America, Cochlear Americas, Invisible Disabilities Community and Invisible Illness Awareness Week I have learned that having invisible issues also creates incredible strength and depth to the human soul. I’ve met some wonderful people who have taught me how to navigate life with grace and a “can do” attitude.

I’ve learned that all of us should “check our preconceived notions” at the door. Assumptions are a discriminatory lot. I do have to admit to also enjoying lessons learned from erroneous stereotypes. After all, that means I’m still learning. You can teach an old dog new tricks! After all, I’ve learned that fish aren’t stupid…

Denise Portis

© 2012 Personal Hearing Loss Journal

It Ain’t All Good

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George Dawson, “People forget that a picture ain’t made from just one color. Life ain’t all good or all bad. It’s full of everything.”

I didn’t write last Monday. I almost let yesterday (Monday) go without writing as well. My reasoning was “why write when I feel so awful”? Sometimes I feel like I owe my readers and peers the truth… but only if it is pleasant and encouraging. When things are not going so good? Well… I’m less certain about how healthy it is for ME to write about it, and risk losing YOU as “compatriots in the ranks”. Right now, “life ain’t all good”. But because it is also “not all bad” I decided to write anyway.

Some things are changing for me. Not good changes. There are things going on that involve other people, so I cannot discuss it. But there are things going on with “just me” that I DO have the liberty to discuss. So I will. If you tuned in to get a dose of the warm fuzzies – this isn’t the post you want to read.

Tell Tale Signs

I have an incredibly bad habit of ignoring the obvious. Perhaps it is a defense mechanism or a form of denial. When something is scary or unpleasant I will push it down and pretend “it” doesn’t exist. I tell myself what my mother always tells me, “Don’t make a mountain out of a mole hill”. Problem is… sometimes it IS a mountain and not a mole hill.

Life can be hard. I have friends who have lost loved ones recently. I have friends who have been diagnosed with scary-sounding diagnosis, some having a good prognosis and some a dire one. I have friends who have close family members battling major health problems. I have friends who are having financial crisis that will change the course of their life and the life of their families. I have friends with children in trouble. I have friends who have been told to plan their funeral. I have friends who have been betrayed and used.

Makes it sound like I have a lot of friends, doesn’t it? (GRIN) One tremendous PLUS of my now, 9-year-old blog, is that I have met a great number of people “virtually”, and literally as a result of my going public with what it is like to live with hearing loss, invisible disabilities, and an incredible canine partner. I have been blessed with guest writers and friendships that have developed as a result of “Hearing Elmo”. You, the reader, have been a source of encouragement to me, a source of advice, and even a source of constructive criticism when I desperately needed it. I am thankful for the sense of “community” the Internet and blogs have given those with disability and invisible illnesses.

Sometimes I ignore tell tale signs in order to “deal with it”. Yes, I know that isn’t healthy but I’m just tellin’ it like it is. Folks who do not have disabilities still live in a body that ages, changes, and may face both minor and catastrophic health problems. However, people with disabilities, those who have learned to be “differently abled”, also sometimes face these same health problems. I’ve often wondered that if certain disabilities make one more prone to health related problems. For example, if you have arthritis, fibromyalgia, or chronic fatigue syndrome, perhaps you’ve put on some weight because you cannot easily exercise or lack the strength and energy to do so. As a result, diabetes or heart disease are now knocking at your door. If you have paralysis or problems with mobility, perhaps you have also developed circulatory problems. I am late-deafened and have Meniere’s disease. I actually hear voices really well in “prime” listening environments, and even do fairly well in really noisy environments with poor acoustics. I fall a lot though. When I do, I normally hit my head. Usually it is just an “ouch” moment where I rub the sore spot and go on about my business.

However, in the last year I have woken up a couple of times now – sprawled out in a heap with my dogs curled up asleep next to me. One time, a matter of hours had to have passed because it was much darker outside by the time I came to. I discuss these things with my husband and um – sort of with my doctor. I have a feeling that I’ve bumped my noggin’ often enough in my adult life, that there may be consequences to that. Thankfully, I’ve learned what a lot of my triggers are and can identify 95% of the time when I need to sit down,

NOW

no matter where I’m at

or who may be watching

or what I may be sitting in.

My eye prescription has changed 3 times in the last 11 months. Most mornings I wake up and my extremities are numb. On really bad days, I still cannot hardly feel my fingers well enough to type by my afternoon classes. I’m having all kinds of “female issues”. My balance is worse than it ever has been. Much worse. I have tried to tell myself that I am stumbling more because I’m older. I turn 46-years-old this month. I’m very good at justifying things! Don’t we tend to do that when something is “off”? My doctor is working with me. When classes are over in May I will be busy getting a lot of tests. Fun, fun (rolls eyes).

But Gee… It’s Not Fair

I don’t care who you are. The old adage, “when it rains, it pours” is only positive to a farmer. No one likes change. Nobody likes problems. No one embraces tragedy. We may have a “Bad News Not Welcome” here sign on our house door. Heck… it may be tattooed on your forearm. That doesn’t mean that bad things are not going to happen.

Life is just not fair, is it? I mean… we don’t get what we deserve when we’ve done something right. And dang, if we don’t get what we deserve when we do something WRONG.

Oscar Wilde: “Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing for most of us that it is not.”

Bill Gates: “Life is not fair. Get use to it”.

(Unknown): “Expecting the world to be fair to you because you are a good person is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.”

Matthew 5:45b: “For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.”

Most of you have already learned that life isn’t fair. We deal with it. We have to do so. There are no real alternatives.

We adjust.

We learn.

We fight.

We will lose and we will win. Regardless we DO deal with it. That can mean we do so successfully and with pizzazz. It may mean we do so poorly and like a drowning victim, struggle and pull others down with us. We always have choices. Maybe not about what we get to handle, but HOW we will handle it.

Recently while shopping at the mall with my husband, he said, “Do you realize that in 2007 you trained for a hearing dog because you needed one. Now Chloe performs more balance-related tasks for you than she does hearing alerts. What does that mean?”

Well it means that I’m changing. Thankfully, dogs are smart and so are the trainers at Fidos For Freedom. You really can teach an old dog “new tricks” – or skilled tasks.

More Than You Can Handle

Don’t you hate it when you are going through something hard and someone tells you, “God won’t give you more than you can handle”? Seriously? I mean… for most of us determination, will-power, and a fighting attitude gets us through. For those like myself who consider themselves a person of faith, we rest in the knowledge that He’s got this… and He’s with us. That doesn’t mean He’s gonna bail us out and smooth the way.

My cousin, a breast cancer survivor, blogs a great deal. I always look forward to reading her posts when “Google Reader” lets me know something new has been uploaded. Recently, she wrote “A Hard Place”. She quoted from a book called, “Kisses From Katie” by Katie Davis. I wanted to share that excerpt with you:

“Remember, God will never give you more than you can handle.” People repeat this frequently; I heard it when I was growing up and I hear it now. It is meant to be a source of encouragement, and it would be if I believed it were true. But I don’t. I believe that God totally, absolutely, intentionally gives us more than we can handle. Because this is when we surrender to Him and He takes over, proving Himself by doing the impossible in our lives. I have learned to accept it, even ask for it, this “more than I can handle.” Because in these times, God shows Himself victorious. He reminds me that all of this life requires more of Him and less of me. God does give us more than we can handle. Not maliciously, but intentionally, in love, that His glory may be displayed, that we may have no doubt of who is in control, that people may see His grace and faithfulness shining through our lives. And as I surrender these situations to Him, watch Him take over and do the impossible, I am filled with joy and peace–so much more than I can handle.”

I’m not a brave person. I’m not going to ask God to give me more than I can handle.

I’m a chicken.

a wuss.

a weakling.

You don’t have to ask God for ANYTHING though, and you still are going to get a dose of LIFE. And so I’m back around where I started. Life ain’t all good.

But it is not all bad.

And so we carry on…

Denise Portis

© 2012 Personal Hearing Loss Journal