hearing assistance dogs – Page 11

Learning NOT to be Afraid

Published on June 3, 2009June 4, 2009 by hearingelmo2 Comments

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React with Calm

Last night Frederick, Maryland, experienced a violent thunderstorm. As I remove my cochlear implant at night to sleep, you might wonder how I came to this knowledge? Well… I’m deaf, but I’m not blind. Our bedroom was lit up with light again and again with what seemed like only seconds between strikes. I reached over and tapped my husband and mumbled out, “Lightning”. I think he said something in response, but in the dark I could only guess that it was something along the lines of “no kidding?”

Chloe, my assistance dog, sleeps in her bed right next to me. She acts as my alarm clock in the morning (although there are days I wish she had a snooze button), so her proximity is key. During the storm, I could see from the light bursting into the room that she was asleep on her bed. Not only was she ASLEEP, but she was laying on her back belly up. This is her “I’m very, very relaxed” position. The storm was so violent, the hair on my arm was standing straight up, and eventually our power was knocked out. Chloe slept through it all.

Many dogs are afraid of thunderstorms. I did not know Chloe when she was a puppy but from what I know of Fidos For Freedom, they make certain their puppy raisers know how to use calming signals to help dogs feel more relaxed in stressful situations. Dogs are many times conditioned to be afraid of thunderstorms. Sure, they have terrific hearing and startle at the sound of thunder. However saying, “poor dear” and babying them when they appear afraid will only condition them to continue to feel fear.

Arachnophobia

I have been afraid of spiders as long as I can remember. I have some “stories” to tell, but it would take several boring posts to relay them all. I can’t leave out the one when I almost jumped out of a moving vehicle 7 months pregnant because a spider was crawling up the windshield! Or the time I walked through a spider web and went screaming into the woods only to careen into a tall oak? Yup… I have plenty of spider stories. A post where I discuss it further can be found here.

I have learned in my 43-years of “living”, that if I try to react in a calm way towards things that frighten me, I will be much better off. About a year ago, I caught sight of a spider flying through the air from the top of our old refrigerator to land in the laundry room sink. I screamed one short squeal, and then stood and pointed. My two teens and husband came running to see what had caused me to scream. All I could do was point to the sink. My husband peered into the sink while I attempted to keep my bladder from emptying. As I still was unable to do anything more than point, he turned on the faucet. A silver-dollar-sized, black hairy spider came crawling up out of the drain.

“Holy, 8-legged FREAK, Batman!” yelled my husband who watched a lot of old superhero t.v. shows.

Over time, I have learned to react with CALM so that I will not be so afraid (and eliminate the possibility of injury). I can’t go to Catoctin Wildlife Preserve and enter their “creepy crawlies” building to oooh and ahhh over spiders big enough to suck the brains out of your head. However, I can now look at a spider and scoop him up and toss him outside, or find an old shoe if the pathway to the door seems like a “galaxy far, far away”. I’m proud of the progress I’ve made, and I am far less arachnophobic now compared to where I was.

Why Learn?

Life is short. There are a number of very scary things in life. Where I have the will and the power to do so, I have chosen to be more calm and face my fears.

I don’t fear death. I am secure in where I’ll be one second after my last breath.

I don’t fear deafness and disability. I have found support, help and satisfaction in my life.

I don’t fear growing older. The longer I live, the better I like myself.

I don’t fear financial security. God has seen my family and I through tough times already.

I don’t fear spiders. Unless they are on my person.

I don’t fear thunderstorms. I’m “belly up” in blissful ignorance of a storm overhead.

Don’t let fear shorten your life. It will if you let it.

Denise Portis

What’s Mine is Yours – What’s Yours is Yours (Most of the Time!)

Published on May 28, 2009May 28, 2009 by hearingelmo1 Comment

Sharing some things is not difficult for Chloe

Sharing “Stuff”

Having an assistance dog, means that I should strive to understand the “pack” in which I’ve brought Chloe to live. An assistance dog is not ever suppose to be “pack leader”. That’s my job, and the hierarchy trickles down through various family members until the canine members of the pack are finally represented. I’m not sure an assistance dog should be “head honcho” of the canine crew, but frankly the dogs in our family could never be “leader”.

Tyco, our Elkhound adolescent and family dog, is a major pushover and adores the ground on which Chloe treads. He follows her around with major PUPPY LOVE written all over his face. It practically oozes from ever pore of his wiggle, curly-tailed body. He’d let her eat his food, and sleep in his bed and simply lick her with infatuation while stepping aside to let her do so. I have to keep an “eye on it”, as she would take advantage if I let her!

Gingery’s Baby Pegasus (or Peg for short) is a naked juvenile ex-show dog with a shock of flashy white hair in all the right places. Frankly… I don’t think Chloe is completely certain he even IS a dog. When he barks, all the dogs stop dead in their tracks to turn and observe. Chloe will share her bed with Pegasus; after all, who can say no to a shivering “ain’t got no hair”, pack member?

Ebony is an ancient, black Pomeranian who sleeps 22 hours a day. When she walks I can hear her bones creak, and folks? I’m deaf. She has an enlarged heart, cancer “somewhere”, collapsing trachea, alopecia, kidney disease, and she’s deaf and blind. One drops like a rock if the “little bit” should happen to breathe on you. Chloe doesn’t have any problem sharing with her, for frankly she rarely sees her.

Chloe shares with the other dogs very well, and she shares with one of the three cats like Kiki is her best friend come over for “milk and cookies” and girly talk.

One thing Chloe will not share is the loveseat in the family room, and her walks with me. The latter I don’t mind, for honestly I haven’t a clue how I’d walk yet one more dog as I have enough problems walking with just Chloe on really bad balance days. The “MY LOVESEAT” in the family room gets a little old sometimes. I watch television (thanks to TIVO’d programing) about twice a week. When we go to the family room, Chloe knows I’m there for an hour or two and I give her a major “love on” scratch, massage, and belly rub the entire time we share that seat. It’s a wonder I don’t have carpal tunnel. If any dog even comes close to the loveseat she growls a threat and a row of hair stands up along her spine that has my daughter convinced she’s part Rhodesian Ridgeback. I let her know that growling is simply not allowed. I can’t very well fuss at her for giving a “look” if any dog creeps too close, but by golly they have sure learned to respect that knowing LOOK. As there are plenty of comfy and warm places to curl up all over our family room, I don’t worry to much that anyone is being neglected.

People normally have a fairly good idea what can be shared. It normally begins long before kindergarten, and we learn that sharing is “nice” and it makes mama happy. As we get older, sharing is still one of those ingrained rules but we do draw the line at items regarding hygiene, or perhaps requested Double-Stuffed Oreos when one is responsibile enough to write it on the list. (I added that last part for a 19-year-old daughter that rarely requests anything, and even more rarely writes it on the list to be purchased and then practically HIDES her stash!) People who share are defined as “giving, generous, considerate, charitable, unselfish and magnanimous”. (Actually, that last word has never actually crossed my lips, but it certainly looks appropriate!)

Sharing Feelings

Dogs just do not seem to have any trouble sharing feelings. If their entire body has gone “all a-wag”, you know they are happy. If they avoid eye contact and look away, they are feeling nervous and uneasy. If they stick their hind end in the air they want to play. If they bring you their leash and sit and stare at you until you “notice”, they may be trying to share their joy of exercise. Dogs rarely have trouble opening up, and if you are really good at it, canine body language can really help you get to know your dog. (Thanks to trainer Tracy at Fidos For Freedom, I’m a big fan of Canine Body Language – A Photographic Guide by Brenda Aloff).

People are more difficult to read, and often have trouble sharing feelings. People have to practice being vulnerable and readable. I’ve been reading the daily journal at Caring Bridge from a fellow mom who was recently diagnosed with cancer. She doesn’t have any trouble sharing her feelings, and frankly I’m often compelled to sit and reflect after reading what she views as most important on any given day.

I’ve a friend whom I’ve knitted my heart too for simply experiencing disability and life much as I do. (Small wonder THAT being that I cannot knit, but only crochet). She shares her feelings in two different blogs, and for a moment in time I’m sitting along side her seeing, hearing, tasting, and experiencing everything that she is. She’s THAT good at writing.

If you’ve lived enough of life, you know that it isn’t always safe to share your feelings. Tragic that we live in the kind of world that we do where there are situations that warrants keeping your feelings hidden. All of us know someone who is “toxic” to our lives. They’ve burned us so many times, we have scar tissue. When they are around we don a hazmat suit and deliberately hide who we are to them in hopes they’ll simply leave as quickly as possible. If we were a dog, we’d yawn and look away and pant nervously. Since we are people we smile and “play nice”, collapsing against the door in relief after we’ve seen them off.

Yes, we all have people like this in our lives, but something we should stop and think about is, “Are you this person to another?” May it never be said that someone waits anxiously for me to leave because I’m dangerous to their well being.

Sharing Faith

Why is it so difficult to share something that is so important? My faith is the single most important area of my life. Why? It SAVED my life. I don’t use religion as a crutch, for the truth of the matter is my faith freed me from a lot of negative things. I don’t think being a person of faith makes me a weak person, for people who have REAL faith are normally very strong. (Not that I don’t have my weak moments!)

My son loves “The Rebelution” and has read the book, joined the “cause” and challenges himself to make a difference in the lives of those who are IN HIS. A “funny”, yet true video clip posted there recently really made me think. You can view it here.

I hope that when people spend any time with me at all, it doesn’t take them long to learn the following:

1. I have a disability, and am ok with it. I wouldn’t change it if I could.

2. I love dogs, and welcome the addtion of an assistance dog in my life. She gives me independence.

3. I have a cochlear implant and don’t care who sees it. As a matter of fact seeing it will remind you that I don’t hear like you do.

4. I love my family, and joyfully color my hair to disguise all the gray hair living and loving them have brought.

5. I love others, and may unexpectedly throw my arms around your neck to prove it true.

6. I love my God, and do not mind sharing why my faith is so important to me.

7. It doens’t bother me if you believe differently than I do. I respect others, and have found most people respect my views as well.

8. I like green tea, white cheddar popcorn and blackberries.

(Actually I just threw #8 in to confuse you. If you knew this already, then we are pretty TIGHT).

The best kind of faith sharing is that which simply “happens” because you are living life as you always do. I want my faith to be such a natural “side-effect” of Denise, it just naturally creeps up and gooses you from time to time.

Denise Portis

B.A.R.C.

Published on May 18, 2009May 28, 2009 by hearingelmo1 Comment

Saturday, Chloe and I headed to the training center at Fidos For Freedom in Laurel, MD. Kyersten came with us which was a real treat as she normally has a ton of schoolwork to do, or has to work.

Fidos For Freedom is blessed with a great variety of personalities and people who volunteer in the training department. Kim, an apprentice trainer, is one of the newer faces in the training department. She co-led the client chat with Tracy on Saturday. Saturday consists of 1 hour of training, and then a 1/2 hour “client chat”. The “chat” is usually a topic discussing problems/issues of an event coming up, or perhaps a client has had access issues, or other problem that week that the group as a whole can discuss. I always get a lot out of the “chats”.

Kim is a trainer, who just so happens to have a disability herself. She shared with us that as people with a disability, it is important to know what your own personal limits are. If you don’t know your limits, you can quickly get to the point where you aren’t able to take care of yourself or your valuable partner. Many disabilities are invisible. Other people often are not able to tell when you’ve reached a limit. She graciously gave me permission to share her list with you:

Basic Awareness Reality Check (B.A.R.C.)

1. Check in with yourself, physically and mentally – What are your early warning signs? Identify early warning signs that signal you are reaching your physical and/or mental limits.

2. Make a list, put it where you can see it, to have available for those times when it’s hard to remember.

3. What might cause you to not listen to your “body”/”mind”? Ignoring those early warning signs? (i.e., feeling guilty, feeling that you “should” do something, wanting to “not give in to the disability”… etc., worrying about what other people will think?, not wanting to let someone down or disappoint them.)

4. List at least 3 things you do to take care of yourself. (Things that help you mentally or physically.) Make it a point to do at least 1 of the 3 daily.

5. It’s reasonable to remember that the list can change over time… as bodies age, or disabilities wax or wane… during times of illness… remember to check in with yourself, and update/change the list as needed.

6. Ask for feedback, from family members, friends, for things you might not recognize.

7. Practice letting people know, when you are having a harder time, rather than “hiding or covering up” your disability/illness, and how it’s effecting you.

8. Practice what you would need to say, during times when you are feeling better, just to get in some practice, before you actually really NEED to do it.

9. Ask yourself: Are you taking as good care of yourself as you do of your dog? Clients, trainers, people, deserve the same kind of attention, and recognition of limits, as they give to their dogs. Remember, You cannot take care of your dog, if you do not take care of yourself.

Denise Portis

To Boldly Go Where No Dog Has Gone Before…

Published on May 14, 2009May 14, 2009 by hearingelmo7 Comments

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I finished my research paper an entire day early, so the family and I headed for the movie theatre on Mother’s Day. Hubby and I have always been Star Trek fans, although the past couple of movies almost had me hangin’ my “fan hat” up for good!

Bottom line? TWO THUMBS UP

What a great movie! There was a great deal of scifi action, and some pretty funny moments as well! Word of caution to those with hearing loss… wait for it to come out on open caption if you’ve any hope of understanding 17-year-old Chekov. Our own local theater has open captioned films, so I’m keeping my eyes peeled for when it might include Star Trek.

There’s a Dog in Here

Chloe is quite accustomed to going to the movies. I go about once a month, although sometimes it stretches to two months if there isn’t anything decent showing. Occasionally, I’ll hear someone say, “there’s a dog in here!” Many times a parent will take the opportunity to discuss “helper dogs” to a child, and occasionally people ask to pet Chloe. I always say “sorry, but no… catch me outside and I’ll take her vest off and you can pet her”. No one ever “catches me” outside. The hardest part about taking her to the movies is actually my own fear, not hers. When you have balance problems, it is very difficult to go –

Up stairs

in the dark

with “runway lights”

in a cavernous room.

Chloe is use to my shuffle step going up and down steps. She patiently plods along and adjusts her proximity to whether or not she feels me wobbling. I suppose I get a little aggravated when someone seated along the aisle tries to get her attention. Perhaps I shouldn’t blame folks because Chloe is beautiful and friendly and it’s hard to ignore her. But if the person on the other end of the leash has a death grip on the handrail, a worried husband with his hand on her back, and a 6′ 3″ son clearing the path in front, would YOU bother the assistance dog? Her vest says, “Do not Pet”, and in case people miss the meaning, she also wears a large tag on the side that says “Do not Distract”. Actually, I’ve learned a great tip.

When Chloe is being distracted by someone who just doesn’t know better, I carry on a dialogue with Chloe. I usually say something like, “Oh Chloe, please stay close! I’m really dizzy and if I fall, I’ll break my neck!” I say all of this in a really pleasant voice, and Chloe just wags her tail and continues up the stairs. Well “normally” whatever hand was trying to call her over to be petted, drops as fast as their jaw does. Most people get the fact they could be the cause of a “fall down and go BOOM“. Chloe doesn’t care at all that I’m fussin’, because I’m doing so in a pleasant voice. If she doesn’t hear a word she recognizes, she thinks I’m just babbling along to her like I usually do.(Yeah… I babble – sue me!)

I then put down her blanket and she is usually out for the duration of the movie. I try very hard not to drop popcorn on her head, as this will very likely cause her to stir. She rarely moves around during a movie, so I was surprised when she sat up to look at the screen at one point. The young Kirk was being chased by some kind of growling snow beast. She had to check out if it was a dog I guess. The theater was really crowded. Right as the movie was starting a lady came over and said, “is that seat taken?” It was dark and the movie was already loud. She couldn’t see Chloe at my feet.

I said loudly, “SERVICE DOG”.

She said, “Oh! It’s broken?” and went to find another vacant seat. I think even folks with normal hearing have trouble hearing in the dark with a lot of background noise.

Hey? Have you ever seen a dog on Star Trek? (Scratchin’ my head and ponderin’ on it…) I saw a cat once that belonged to Data. Went by the name of “Spot”. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a dog, however! Not even when the crew was hangin’ out on Earth. Are dogs extinct in the future? Perish the thought!

(yeah… the southern comes out once in awhile)

live long

Denise Portis

Graduation Fidos For Freedom 2009

Published on April 28, 2009May 28, 2009 by hearingelmo4 Comments

My “speech” is below the pictures…

Chloe has had a "crush" on our photographer for a long time. This "shoot" was hard for her!

It's hard to wait under a table for 2 hours with other dogs when there is a long tablecloth!

Denise gives a speech w/ Chloe in a down/stay. Puppy Raiser L, Trainer at R of Denise

Listening to the therapy dogs being "caped"

our graduate board... someone did a great job

I’m so excited to be here this evening, graduating with Chloe from Fidos For Freedom’s training program. Chloe and I have been working together for almost two years now and it’s pretty exciting to finally be attending the Tux & Tails Banquet as a graduate!

Tonight is a night of thanks, and I wanted to take the time to include my own. First of all, I wanted to thank Chloe’s sponsor, Judy. The training of these special pups all begins with their sponsorship. I’ve had the privilege of seeing Chloe’s sponsor at a number of events, and I’m thankful there are people out there who agree to pay for the supplies, vet bills and other expenses while these special puppies are being trained. All this is made possible by the generous heart of a sponsor. Thank you Judy!

I wanted to thank Chloe’s Puppy Raiser, Linda Odom. Linda has raised numerous puppies for Fidos, and she raised my Chloe as well. Chloe still recognizes and adores Linda. In the beginning, everyone guessed that Chloe must be a beagle mix, but she continued to grow larger and larger. I have a picture of Linda holding Chloe when she was still a puppy, but not a lot smaller than she is now! Believe, me she had her hands FULL! Not just literally either, but figuratively as well! I have been told by training staff that Chloe was a very incorrigible puppy. Annette told me once that she put Chloe in a sit/stay and walked deliberately away for a long recall. When she turned to call Chloe, it seemed Chloe had disappeared! One quick look down was all it took to see the happy tail wag greeting from this puppy that had followed her quietly the whole way.

Pat Jarvis, my trainer and Chloe’s trainer, told me that they continued to see “glimpses of what might be” in Chloe. As she matured, and began to finally grow up, they were finally seeing the working dog in her that they’d hoped for. When I first began working with Chloe, she seemed to respond very well to me. Things weren’t perfect, but then I had worked with Nordic a great deal, so she was hard pressed to compare. The longer we worked together, the more attached we became. She was just as excited to see me at training sessions as I was to see her.

One Wednesday night in January of 2007, Pat put me with Chloe to work and then later called me back to the conference room. She told me that they were going to match Chloe tonight. I managed to squeak out, “With me?” I almost tackled Pat I was so excited!

Chloe has traveled with me to conferences and speaking engagements, and represents Fidos so well. In our short time together, she has alerted me to a fire in our basement, and has alerted me to literally thousands of phone calls, timer alerts, and other sounds around me that I do not hear. With help from Pat, Ann and Tracy, I was able to teach Chloe some additional skills to help me with my balance. I teach part time, and Chloe loves to be in the classroom. I’m fairly certain some of my students drop papers and pencils on purpose so that Chloe will come and pick them up for them.

Before I had Chloe, I never went anywhere without someone in my family with me. Even going to stores was extremely intimidating, because I would often not hear if people needed to get by me. If I dropped something on the floor on a rainy day and my balance was bad, it was really difficult to pick it up without passing out. Now that Chloe is my partner, we go everywhere together. If I drop something… NO PROBLEM. Chloe picks it up with a happy tail wag and is always eager to assist. She alerts me to sounds like someone needing by, intercoms, buzzers and more.

To those who sponsored this little red-head puppy – I thank you.

To every person who had a part in helping Chloe the puppy, investigate new sights, sounds and smells – I thank you.

To every person who acted as a vacation home for this lovable, mischievous puppy – I thank you.

To my family who allowed me to take time for myself in order to train for Chloe – I thank you. I have spent many miles on the road from Frederick.

To every trainer who had a part in teaching Chloe the skills she now uses so naturally – I thank you. Thank you for seeing past the frustrating little puppy to the lovely and intelligent working dog that Chloe is. Because of each of YOU, Chloe and I have this wonderful, unique relationship only found in the partnership of person and dog. THANK YOU.

Denise Portis

Off Vest

Published on April 25, 2009 by hearingelmo1 Comment

Coffee break for Chloe... or rather tummy rub

One of my students snapped this picture of Chloe off vest while I was on the floor with her one afternoon.

Off Vest

Our work day on Thursday is a long one. Thankfully, I have a whole hour break between classes at 3 PM. When possible, I take Chloe’s vest off and take her for a quick walk. I chase her around the classroom with a squeaky toy, or “mess with her” a bit. It usually ends up with some Chloe lovin’, and we just chill for a bit before the next class starts.

Ever once in awhile I have a student meeting, or parent/teacher conference. When that happens, Chloe waits patiently by my side but I can tell she knows it’s past 3 PM. Have you ever heard a dog sigh? If I’m close enough, I can hear her heave a big sigh that is just a big exaggerated. It cracks me up actually!

Chloe’s “off vest” time at home means our nightly walk. It only takes about 20-25 minutes and I walk REALLY fast. My husband teases me that it’s practically a sprint. We can only go when it’s not rainy out, b/c I don’t walk when the weather is bad… I weave! (grin) During our walks, Chloe knows she is “off vest”. She sniffs around, walks in “heel” if she feels like it, switches to “place” if she wants. I make her sit in heel and wait when we come to a crossroad. Once we cross the street, I let her know she’s free to sniff around again. This is her time to just be a “dog”.

Off Duty

It’s important that we learn to take some time to be “off duty” each day. Likely, you play many different roles each and every day. You may be an employee, or adviser. Perhaps you are a chaueffer for those who don’t make the car payment in the home (grin). Some of us make the appointments, are the personal shopper, take care of the yard, and scoop the poop. Maybe you are the cook and accountant. You may be the housekeeper and laundress. It is very possible you are someone’s cheerleader. Thank goodness pom-poms are optional…

Even if it’s only for 30 minutes or so, don’t do anything “necessary“. Stop and investigate, sniff around a bit if you like. Literally take the time to smell the roses. If you’ve allergies like me, “smelling the roses” may mean sneezing like crazy later. But I find my own way to “rest and reflect”. It may be with a cup of green tea and a good book on proverbs or “famous quotes”. These brief forays away from “your job that defines you” is very important.

Women are the world’s worst about removing their vest. They think they have to be “Super Mom”, or “Super Woman”. They wear so many hats, these defining headpieces lean precariously off the tilt of their weighted down head. We do so many things, we end up not doing any one thing well. Take the time to unwind.

Breathe deeply.

Meditate and/or pray.

Write in a journal.

Burp if you want too.

(Sorry… I had to throw that in b/c Chloe gets such a rub down and vigorous massage when she’s off vest, she burps in contentment)

Denise Portis

Demo at AACC

Published on April 22, 2009April 23, 2009 by hearingelmoLeave a comment

aacc-demo-010

Chloe and I had a great time at AACC today doing a DEMO. I’ll write more about it when I find some time this weekend. Chloe and I comprised the “hearing team” (which is funny actually because I’m deaf… but that’s what they call it), and Joe and Ace (a black lab), Geoff and Theo (a Doberman mix) made up the service teams. We had 3 therapy teams present, all of whom go to Bethesda Naval Hospital as well. Judy and Dazzle (a Sheltie), Susan and Mackie (a standard poodle) and Debbie and Nicholas (a collie), always are popular as the students ARE allowed to pet them.

Wouldn’t you know a young man came through the Student Union where we were and spotted Mackie and recognized him? When he was on base at Bethesda Naval, Mackie came to visit him over a period of time. He had big tears in his eyes, but had a smile a mile wide! Mackie acted like he knew him too!

Whew! I’m tired!

Denise Portis

Meniere’s Help

Published on April 1, 2009April 1, 2009 by hearingelmo5 Comments

harpers-ferry-may-07-on-stairs2

Today is a rainy, dreary day. I actually love the rain, because it makes everything so green and keeps me from having to water everything! However, when it’s rainy I do take the extra time to “walk safely”. I’m extra careful on stairs, and I stand up slowly. I don’t do anything in a “hurry” that might move my head’s altitude quickly!

Chloe loves to pick things up for me, so I think when she sees me wake up with a little bit of “weave” to my step, she’s actually looking forward to a day of retrieving “every little thing”. Sometimes I don’t need the gum wrapper, or leaf brought in on the bottom of someone’s tennis shoe, but I thank her and praise her just the same. Actually, it’s probably good she brings me everything, for our Elkhound teenager will eat everything!

Meniere’s is not a disease widely known. Even amongst the hearing loss “crowd”, it is just beginning to get a little more “press”. Here are some of my favorite “Meniere’s helps”:

Hearing Loss Web: http://www.hearinglossweb.com/Medical/Meniere/mn.htm

NIDCD: http://www.nidcd.nih.gov/health/balance/meniere.asp

The Meniere’s Page: http://oto2.wustl.edu/men/

Meniere’s Organization: http://www.menieres.org/

Denise Portis

It’s Not Enough

Published on March 29, 2009March 29, 2009 by hearingelmo2 Comments

Denise and Chloe wait for Kyersten to show up at the airport

It’s Not Enough to Love Me

You know Chloe loves people. Chloe loves her trainer and people she knows at Fidos For Freedom. Chloe loves the people I work with and she loves her family. Chloe loves me, and it just isn’t difficult at all for me to “love her back”.

But you know something? It’s not enough for Chloe to simply love me. She’s a working dog, and has a job to do. If all she did was “love me”, I’d still love her as well… but then she’d just be a pet. It is my opinion that even PETS should have good manners, so we teach and enforce basic obedience at home. If Chloe doesn’t obey me at home and when we go out, she isn’t going to be able to do her job.

Because of her job description, it’s not enough for Chloe to love me. She has a job to do and must understand and obey commands. She has learned skills that alert me to sounds that I do not hear, and she assists me by picking up things I’ve dropped. I have a job as well. I not only have to keep her safe, but it is my responsibility to make sure the skills that she has learned are practiced and honed.

It’s great that Chloe loves me, but I have to tell ya… when she obeys a command or successfully performs a skill she has learned and I praise her? She just puffs up and BEAMS with a warmth so bright, that it reaches all the way to my heart and warms me as well.

Distractions Can Interfere

Friday we went to the airport to pick up my daughter who was returning from her spring break in Florida. I put Chloe in a sit/stay, but her paws kept slipping on the slick floor. To make it a little easier for her to succeed at “staying”, I put her in a down/stay. I was really surprised for two seconds to go by and see her POP UP. I didn’t repeat the command, but gently tugged her collar towards the floor until she remembered she was suppose to be in a down/stay. She only stayed there for another two seconds.

I raised my eyebrows and caught my husbands eye. He walked over from where he was sitting to stand nearer to where Chloe and I were. (I don’t think Dads feel compelled to be able to see the doorway from which an absentee child will be coming like a Mom does!)

He said, “Denise, you know the luggage conveyor belt is making a LOT of noise, right? It is buzzing a warning every few seconds to let people know that more luggage is coming up the conveyor”

Oh. Well, umm… NO. I didn’t know that. But at least I knew what was distracting Chloe from being in a down/stay. In order to put her mind at ease, I got down closer to her level and put her in a sit/stay. Now I could feel her tremble every time “that noise” sounded. She just needed a “pat” and “encouragement” that all was going to be ok. She needed to feel my hand.

It’s Not Enough to Love Him

You know? It’s not enough that I love God. I can go around and tell people about how much I love God, but if I am not obeying Him… not fulfilling a purpose for my life, I’m really no good to Him. Sure, He’ll love me back, because that’s what God does… it’s what He is. But if I don’t live my life in such a way that I am obedient to Him, and follow His commands that are MEANT to make me useful to Him, then I’m just one of His kids that happens to love Him.

I want to have a life that counts for something. I want a purpose, and want to make a difference. I want God to use me. If I’m not obeying Him – not loving others, forgiving, being kind, tender-hearted, understanding, etc., then He can’t really use me.

When I know I’m living my life in such a way that He can use me, I know He just looks down with praise. I just puff up and BEAM with a warmth so bright, that I know it’s a reflection of Him.

Distractions Can Interfere

Sometimes I allow worries, problems with other people, or relationships interfere with living my life in such a way that I’m being used by God in a positive way. Sometimes the distractions are really negative things, like extreme bigotry or someone’s prejudice. I don’t care for mean people, and I can very easily allow them to drag me down into a long-term commitment to despise, plot to get even, or wish their downfall.

The reality? A distraction is a distraction. If I’m distracted, I’m not doing Him any good. I’m not doing what He’s called me to do. I can’t make a difference to any one else if I’m distracted by things that do not matter. I’m really glad that I have a personal relationship with God that is ‘real’. I don’t look at God as this impersonal Authority “up there” who rules and controls. When I’m distracted and no good to Him, He gets down and CLOSER. He puts his hand on my back and can feel me tremble. He comforts me and then “I’m good”. I can go back to “work” and do what He’s called me to do. It only takes a touch from His hand.

Denise Portis

They Grow Up so Fast

Published on March 18, 2009 by hearingelmo2 Comments

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From Puppy to Adult in 2 years

I didn’t know Chloe when she was a puppy. I’m told that she was the perfect puppy and was the brightest “pup in the class”. GRIN. Those of you who KNEW Chloe then, know that I am being deliberately sarcastic. Chloe was incorrigible, and many a trainer wondered if she’d ever GROW UP. Pat J., at Fidos For Freedom told me that, “we just kept seeing little glimmers of what MIGHT BE“. Trainers from the Puppy Program just shake their heads when they see her today. No one was certain she’d make it. Today, she is a mature working dog who honestly loves what she does. Her tail is in a “constant state of wag”.

She and I were walking this evening and I had my cochlear implant on so that I could walk “more safely”. I was amazed at all the birds I could hear, and I could hear a basketball being bounced in the park. I was thinking how “safe” I felt walking with my cochlear implant, when Chloe stopped dead and whirled to face the direction we had come. I looked quickly to see what was up, and there wasn’t anything that I could see to be excited about! Her hair began to stand on end, and she continued to stare behind us. Right when I thought I was going to say, “let’s go Chloe!”, a big black and white pitbull came racing around the corner headed straight for us.

I stepped closer to Chloe and desperately tried to remember which pocket of my pack had the pepper spray. I don’t “remember” very quickly. The pitbull raced up to Chloe and I could hear her growling softly. A boy who looked to be all of 8 or 9-years-old came running after the dog. The dog’s tail was wagging the whole time, but I kept trying to insert my body between the two of them. It didn’t take the boy long to come up and apologetically collect his dog. I continued on my way, but was actually pretty shaken. Here I was thinkin’ I was all of THAT because I was hearing so well! I really would have never known that a dog was coming if not for Chloe. (Something tells me had I been by myself, however, the attraction would not have been so keen!)

Even when she’s not working and “naked” (a.k.a. without her vest), she is a help to me. I really do feel more confident when she is with me. I do not see the “puppy that was” in her big, brown eyes.

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From Baby to Adult in 18 years

Chris is the baby of the family. It is hard to believe he was born over 18 years ago. He barely weighed 4 pounds when he got out of the hospital. Today he is 6 foot, 3 inches tall and is “all growed up”. He goes to community college this fall (as he gets to go FREE thanks to dad), he works part-time and enjoys serving in our church and community.

A couple of years ago, I didn’t know if Chris would “make it” in the transition to adulthood. He lacked the maturity I thought he needed to really succeed in high school. My husband and I kept seeing “little glimmers of what MIGHT BE”. Today, he is a hard-working young adult with a lot of compassion for his fellow man. His tail is in a constant state of… well you know!

Denise Portis