hearing assistance dogs – Page 13

Look Out Behind You…

Published on January 18, 2009February 3, 2009 by hearingelmo4 Comments

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Look Out Behind You… and Call Your Dog!

We practice many things at the training center at Fidos For Freedom. At first glance, the exercise may seem time consuming and even confusing. (My kids ask me from time to time exactly HOW are they going to use Geometry in real life? Why do they have to do the practice exercises if they will never use it?)

I have to admit that occasionally I think to myself, that Chloe and I will never use a certain command in public. I wonder from time to time, why we seem to practice some of the commands that we do at the center. I always participate, however, as I have learned to trust the trainers and their judgment in such matters. One exercise we do several times a month is a response to the command, “Look out behind you and call your dog!” Clients are to take a quick look behind them to make sure nothing is in their way. You then take two or three quick steps backwards, and give the formal command “Fido, Come!” to your dog. The dogs have been trained to quickly position themselves in a “sit” in front of you, with their nose facing your stomach. I have very poor peripheral, so a “quick look behind me” has never been an easy task! For me to take two or three “quick” steps backwards, can mean a spill on a day my balance is really “off”.

I have to admit that internally I grumbled from time to time when asked to perform this command on the training floor. Never again…

When Least Expected, It May Come in Handy!

This past Friday, I left the house early to go to Wal-mart. I have a love/hate relationship with Wal-mart. On the one hand… I save quite a bit of money at this store. They tend to have a big selection, carry name brands, and have great sales. On the other hand… the lines are awful, it’s hard to find a place to park, and the stores I go to are often messy. (Not easy to navigate “messy” when pushing a cart with a working dog alongside!)

I have found, however, that if one goes early in the day on a weekday, it isn’t too much of a trial. So Friday morning – bright and early, Chloe and I plus my son Chris, headed to Wal-mart.

Chris went to look for a game that was suppose to be “out”, so Chloe and I headed into the pharmacy section alone. I noticed almost right away that she’d startle, and then cock her head to listen carefully about every three or four feet. I was busy looking for my shampoo, but automatically watched her a little more carefully for any further clues as to what she was hearing. As we neared the end of the aisle, her ears were perked up and she looked nervous. Every few seconds, I caught the sound of “something”, but honestly could not tell for sure what it might be! As we rounded the corner, a harried-looking mother with a couple of youngsters in tow came around the next aisle. The kids were screaming and crying, and one toddler was in a sprint away from mom. The toddler hit the end of my cart head-on with both hands and SHOVED. Two or three seconds before impact, I shot a quick glance over my shoulder and took three frantic steps backwards, and commanded urgently, “Chloe… COME”! Chloe obeyed immediately, even though her attention was on the family. The cart ricocheted off an end-cap of baby oil products. I plucked my purse out of the cart, and put Chloe in “heel” beside me… protected from the main aisle. The mother apologized profusely, and corralled her kids to continue shopping. As soon as she was out of sight, I squatted down to face Chloe and exclaimed:

“Chloe! We Looked Out Behind Us! We did it!” Chloe cocked her head to the side like she does when she’s trying to figure out what I’m saying. (Hmm… was there a command in there that I recognize?) I was positively gleeful… and Chloe? Well she was not exactly sure why I was so VERY excited about a simple “come” command! Her tail gave a half-hearted flop and she wiggled closer… which of course caused me to plop into the floor from my crouched position. I was totally fine with that! I threw my arms around her and explained to her out loud (and likely LOUDLY given the fact that I have a hearing loss…), “Chloe, I never thought we’d use ‘Look Out Behind You‘, and I did it! We used it perfectly! I wasn’t hurt… you weren’t hurt! Hey, it worked perfectly!” In hindsight, I was very likely a little too excited about something rather trivial. Actually by this time I had drawn a small crowd of observers.

A lady reached her hand out and asked, “Can I help you up?”

“Nope”, I responded cheerfully, “that’s what she’s for!” Chloe helped me up with a modified ‘brace’, and I reached over for my cart.

A grandfatherly-looking man stood there watching, and remarked dryly, “she’s better behaved than most kids in here!”

Still on a euphoric “high”, I gushed, “YES! And we did ‘look out behind you‘ perfectly!”

His bemused smile turned to concern and he looked behind him with confusion. I plopped my purse back into the cart and wheeled away with my head in the clouds.

Practice, in Order to be Prepared

Later as I put away groceries and toiletries, I still had a smile a mile wide on my face. I used “Look Out Behind You“! I couldn’t help but chuckle about it even hours later!

You know? It pays to practice things! Think of how practicing even responses to uneducated questions can be helpful! As a person with hearing loss, I have heard some fairly ridiculous questions before. I have also been wounded by rude and simple-minded questions. Yet my response has not always been in such a way that I was able to advocate in a positive way. Sometimes my response, further cemented irrational assumptions by people with normal hearing and balance. Take for example the following:

Why do you talk that way? Do you have a speech impairment?

Wrong answer: “No, stupid! I don’t have a speech impairment, you have a BRAIN impairment!”

Right answer: “Actually I have a profound hearing loss. I can’t hear myself anymore and I know I pronounce things funny sometimes.” (I’m so thankful for my cochlear implant! My speech has dramatically improved, even when I’m really tired!)

Why do you wear your hair up where everyone can see your cochlear implant and hearing aid? Why do you want them to see your disability?

Wrong answer: “It’s none of your business stupid! I can wear my hair the way I want!”

Right answer: Actually I do that so people are aware that I don’t hear well. I don’t want someone to be upset if I don’t answer when called, or answer inappropriately to a question I didn’t hear well. It clues them in right away that if they take some extra time to communicate well, I will likely do just fine!

Why do you still ask for ‘repeats’ and not hear things? I thought the cochlear implant was going to FIX you!

Wrong answer: “I’m not Jamie Sommers, stupid!” (Do you see a recurring pattern of STUPID in the wrong answers? Grin!)

Right answer: “Actually my bionics allow me to hear things I never thought I’d hear again! But it isn’t perfect hearing, and I will always be a person with hearing loss. Compared to where I was before the implant, I am doing amazingly well!”

If you are deaf, how can you use a telephone?

Wrong answer: Why shouldn’t I be able to use the phone? I can eat, drink, and go to the bathroom by myself too!”

Right answer: We live in an amazing era of technology. My cochlear implant can utilize a t-coil switch, which allows me to use the phone with only a little work, thanks to telephones that are t-coil compatible. I can’t use EVERY phone, but I can use MINE.

Why do you have an assistance dog? You aren’t blind, and it draws attention to you!

Wrong answer: Actually she’s an attack dog… Chloe… BITE HIM!

Right answer: Having both Meniere’s disease, and hearing loss, Chloe simply makes my life easier. She takes a lot of stress out of the fact I don’t hear well. I hear voices pretty well with my CI, but Chloe makes sure I hear all those other noises. I am much safer now, and can do things independently. If I drop things, it takes Chloe seconds to retrieve something for me that would have taken me several minutes to get myself because of my balance issues. I don’t have to ask others to help, because SHE is my “helper”.

If you have an acquired disability, I’m sure you too have heard your share of “stupid questions”. Perhaps your disability is not widely understood, or is “invisible”. We can’t walk around with a neon sign that says, “disabled person” over our heads. And who would want to? Frankly, I highlight what I CAN do, not what I cannot. Perhaps practicing responses to some of the questions you have heard, will insure that when the time comes for you to reply again, it will be in a positive and educational way. After all, a curt and petty response only hurts the next person with a disability. A measured, well-thought and rehearsed answer is much more likely to produce understanding and acceptance in even the most STUPID irrational person!

Denise Portis

… So Basically I’m GONNA LIVE FOREVER!

Published on January 13, 2009January 13, 2009 by hearingelmo5 Comments

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Green Tea from Costco … my favorite brand

Compelled to Change by Negative Triggers

About four months ago I caught a nasty 24 hour virus. The only thing unique about this virus was the timing of when the symptoms appeared. I had my morning coffee and THEN became sick.

Now you have to understand that I’ve been drinking coffee for twenty-four years. After years of going to school and working I found that I was a 4-cup a day, coffee drinking addict. I add that last part because frankly, my son reminds me that caffeine is a drug every chance he gets. (Darn, those assigned research papers on drugs in 9th grade! Could I have known he’d take this information to his grave?) I always get out of bed before my kids. In part, the result that MY alarm clock (Chloe, hearing assistance dog) does not have a “snooze button”. When it’s time to get up she… well, makes sure I’m UP! I normally hit the “on” button as I walk past the coffee maker. Alternating between French Vanilla, and Hazelnut sugar-free creamers, meant my coffee was my favorite part of the day. I will admit that the fact I had some quiet time to myself during this morning period, also contributed to it being the favorite part of my day.

Nothing spoils “a favorite” like a virus. When a stomach virus’s symptoms hit after having only consumed your morning coffee, little else “reappears” other than that coffee! I won’t go into all the gory details, but suffice it to say that I can no longer even SMELL coffee. Being married to a psychologist, I’m assuming I’m experiencing psychosomatic symptoms. The reality is I may simply have a very good memory. All I know is that I can no longer drink coffee.

But when one is addicted to caffeine, (repeated for the benefit of my 18-year-old son who continues to remind me about common, over-the-counter and legal stimulants), one can’t just ditch the coffee and survive. Yes, I realize I might should have taken this opportunity to “kick the habit” once and for all. Frankly, I love curling up with a hot cup of “something” first thing in the morning! Desperate to find a quick and painless alternative “source”, I turned to green tea.

Change Can Lead to Discovery

I love the fact that someone MY age can discover something new. Discovery? I love green tea. In fact, I drink green tea most of the day. After consuming approximately 4 cups of regular green tea, I drink decaf green tea the remainder of the day. In the four months I’ve been a tea drinker, I tried numerous brands and actually love them all. I do have a favorite, however, thanks to the Christmas gift of one of my students who happened to stick a few tea bags of Kirkland signature ITO EN into her “goodie basket”. (Thanks Sarahann!)

I received February 2009 Ladies Home Journal in the mail over the weekend. Saturday evening while trying to find something new to read before going to bed, I decided to curl up with the magazine (and a cup of decaf green tea of course!). The article, “The Healing Power of Tea” caught my eye. I learned that ANY kind of tea has health benefits, but green tea seems especially potent in protecting against some of even the deadliest diseases.

According to the article written by Paula Dranov, “… scientists are finding that drinking tea may keep your heart healthy, protect you from cancer, boost your body’s ability to fight off germs, strengthen your bones, prevent cavities and sharpen your concentration”. Evidently it lowers your LDL (“bad”) cholesterol as well as lowers the risk of plaque build-up in the arteries. It may lower the risk of a variety of deadly cancers, and boosts immunity to ward of bacteria and viruses… you know, the kind that make you throw-up your morning coffee! L-theanine seems to heighten concentration, and another antioxidant found in tea may stave off Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s! Tea even strengthens bones, and prevents cavities as it contains fluoride.

Now that I’m a tea drinker? Well, basically I’m GONNA LIVE FOREVER!

Good can come from even nasty viruses.

Compelled to Change by Negative Triggers – Part 2

Change can occur by design, but for me it is often because I’m forced to do so. Does that make me stubborn? (Hmm, scratching head and pondering that). I think I’m just a creature of habit. When change occurs in my life, it is usually because circumstances forced me to adapt.

No one ever asks for a disability. Whether congenital or adventitious, disabilities simply aren’t something one HOPES to learn to deal with in their life. I mean… life is hard enough! Yet, those I know with disabilities seem to be masters at learning to adapt and to change. That doesn’t mean it’s always done right – yet, change will happen. One must learn to do things a “new way”. Many times a person has to learn to ASK for help. Sometimes it means giving up some things you really loved, and learning to enjoy “replacement” activities instead. There are times you have to “take 5” and just feel sorry for yourself – as long as you get back out there and embrace life when your “5” are up!

I consider deafness and Meniere’s disease negative triggers. Yet the change wrought in my own life, has made me who I am. I am comfortable in my own skin, with all my gadgets and technology. I’m totally OK with being accompanied by an assistance dog, and I wear my hair up so that my cochlear implant and hearing aid are visible. However, I didn’t start out this way. At first, those triggers only caused me to isolate myself. I lived in a 24/7 pity party. I’m thankful for all I learned through HLAA and from a well-read Bible. Both were necessary and influential in my life.

Change Can Lead to Discovery – Part 2

Some people look at me like I’ve lost my mind when I explain I’d never want to hear normally (or walk a straight line). I like who I am. As I have not always “liked me”, I’m glad I can say that I do now. Change ultimately can bring a self-discovery of talents, skills, interests and passions that one never dreamed of before. With a little direction and “cheerleading” from those who have “been there”, change can be an easier transition for those learning to “ask those tough questions”. Why me? How can I cope? How can I work? How can I communicate? How can I ever be happy again?

The biggest plus to having a disability, is that one usually discovers what is really important. The things that use to “stress” me no longer do. (Likely, I have new stresses!). Life’s big picture sort of SNAPS into place when you have a disability. Family, friends, community, communication become really important. (Don’t believe for a second that someone who is deaf with a communication disorder cannot communicate. You simply aren’t listening!).

At times “getting there” is not an easy road. But the discovery of who I “am”, allows me to help others and make a difference in my own small corner of the world. Do you feel “change” coming? Don’t run from it. Stand still and let it happen. With the right attitude, support system, and even childlike faith, change can create very real and positive discoveries for YOU.

Denise Portis

What Came First?

Published on January 1, 2009January 1, 2009 by hearingelmo2 Comments

The Chicken or the Egg?

What came first, the chicken or the egg? That phrase brings a smile to my face every time I come across it. It has been the cause of many a debate from both my childhood and my present. I suppose I’ve always been surrounded by people who love to argue a point. Everyone knows the chicken came first. If you disagree with that… well, you’ll need to write your own post!

In life there are many cause and effect changes. These are either passionately discussed because of more serious consequences that can occur, or worse – not discussed at all due to what many may view as a “taboo” subject.

I’ve always been a “worrier”. I can remember hearing from my mother at a very young age, “Denise… don’t make mountains out of mole hills”. I was also told that if I didn’t have something to worry about, I’d work hard until I had found something to worry over. As an adult, I prefer to look at my “worryin’ over things” as my way of preparing, planning, and anticipating outcomes. Believe it or not, “worrying” calms me down.

But I am not misguided in believing that worry is the same thing as anxiety. I don’t remember being an anxious kid. “Worrier” – yes, anxious – no. I do know that I have had anxious periods in my life. I have a new “friend” who is a phenomenal writer. I’ve been pushing Lisa to investigate writing a book and hope I have finally twisted her arm in doing so. Having benefited from her wisdom and straight-forward speculations, I’ll be one of the first in line to buy several copies. She has been blogging about “anxiety” quite a bit lately. (If you have had problems with anxiety, I encourage you to begin reading her posts beginning here).

I have met many people with different types of disabilities. I have also met many “anxious” people. Often, those people are “one and the same”. What came first? The disability or the anxiety?

We Can Make Ourselves Sick

One doesn’t have to “google” stress and anxiety very long before they begin to find out these feelings can affect our physical health. Our body’s immune systems can even be weakened when exposed to stress for prolonged periods of time. Although “thinking happy thoughts” does not necessarily cure every ailment, being stressed, worried, anxious and pessimistic can certainly hinder our getting well.

Many physicians who specialize in critical care fields have long been taught how important it is to treat the patient’s mental and emotional state as well as their bodies. Even a patient’s spiritual beliefs can aid in recovery. Discovering (or re-discovering) hope and belief in God, can greatly benefit a patient who has experienced an injury or life-changing illness. My husband wrote his dissertation along these lines. His book is NOT easy reading – smile. Effects of Religiosity on Life Satisfaction Among Survivors of Brain Injury, was written after having seen the direct results of faith on patients with a TBI over a number of years. Terry researched whether or not people with brain injury have higher life satisfaction if they are involved in religious practices. People with brain injury traditionally have one of the lowest life satisfaction scores of any population. They have similar scores to people in prison! In contrast, if someone with a TBI has no faith – no belief system, they tend to have very low expectations and life satisfaction.

Disability or Anxiety?

So… which came first? Anxiety can certainly be triggered by “life events”, but it can also be a chemical imbalance in an individual. Anxiety disorders are serious. Feeling anxiety – an “anxiousness” – from time to time is not uncommon and even expected in this thing we live called LIFE. Can a disability, especially an acquired disability, cause us to feel anxious? Can that anxiety, ignored and untreated, lead to a disorder? Yes… and yes. However, one can have a disability and learn to “cope”. Learning to cope, and developing new interests, skills and networks, makes a disability more of a discovery! One learns how to acquire new ABILITIES.

Being disabled does not mean one is not “able”. Certainly being deaf and having Meniere’s disease, places me in a disability group, or category. I don’t consider myself disabled as long as I work hard at being “able”. A cochlear implant, support group, a service dog and advocating in a positive way, have allowed me to create a way to cope… to live in a normal way. I’m living a “new normal”. These activities keep me from feeling anxious.

Does that mean I never worry? Heck no! But worrying is not anxiety. If I begin to see a set pattern of anxiousness, I treat that very seriously. Why am I anxious? Has something triggered it? Am I eating right, sleeping well, and taking care of myself? However, WORRY is different than anxiety. I have plenty of daily worries that actually allow me to process things and plan my day.

Am I worried when I stand at the top of a stairwell with Chloe in heel, people milling all around me, and the room spinning counter-clockwise as I desperately try to adjust my eyes to the depth of the stairs below? Well YES! But that worry has allowed me to take steps (pardon the pun) in making it possible for me to traverse stairs safely. Chloe acts as a counter-balance, I instruct students around me that I’m not listening or talking until I get to the bottom… so don’t bother me, I breathe evenly and fix my eyes on no more than two steps at a time, and before I know it… I’m kissing the floor in relief at the bottom! (OK, that’s an exaggeration, but I certainly do feel euphoric!)

Do I feel anxious when my cochlear implant batteries go dead? (DUH) Of course I do! But my worrying about it happening at an inopportune moment, has led to a very real plan of action. I have batteries EVERYWHERE. They are in Chloe’s working vest, my pocketbook, the van, at home, and in my office. My CI is set up to give me a 20 minute warning beep. When I hear it, I continue with what I’m doing but I include a few moments to secure new batteries. I’m an expert at slipping out the battery compartment, punching out the three #675 batteries, and replacing them with finesse and speed. I’m never “deaf” for very long.

I plan in advance to get 8 to 10 hours of sleep each night. (Yes, you read that right). My sleeping a great deal is not a warning sign that I am depressed. I plan to sleep 8 to 10 hours a night! I make it a priority, and I’m often the first Portis in bed each night. I get a great deal of sleep because I’ve discovered that I “hear better” when I do. It takes a lot out of a person to hear through a cochlear implant. Lip reading is not easy. Making sense of the noise in my world takes concentration. I need sleep to function well.

Because of my Meniere’s disease, I consume less salt and caffeine. I take Manganese and working hard at trying to exercise regularly. (My sister and I have a New Year’s challenge to each other to do better at this!)

At the beginning of this school year, I worried like crazy about some of the things I’m required to go to as a teacher that are at night. Meniere’s has made driving at night difficult, as headlights from oncoming traffic trigger vertigo and make it difficult to see. The light acts as a “beacon” if you will, and my eyes are drawn to the counter-clockwise beams around me instead of the road ahead. I worried about how to tell my director that I couldn’t do things at night. But that “worrying” allowed me to plan how I would present my reasons and requests. She listened, and approved my request to not attend meetings after dark.

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To some people, all the things I do each day to be safe, hear well, and live a full and productive life may seem tedious and strange. But these things are “my normal”. These plans and daily preparations are not tedious and strange for ME. Santa Kyersten (my daughter) gave me a cane for Christmas. It was something on my wish list and for me, a necessary tool to live “my normal” on rainy days when my Meniere’s disease makes my balance much worse.

Disability, not Inability

Being disabled means one must find a way to do the things you want to do in a new way. My deaf/blind friends enjoy communicating with friends and relatives by utilizing both cochlear implants and JAWS (a screen reader program for those with visual challenges and impairments). My friends who have mobility challenges, use service dogs, walkers, canes or power scooters. Late-deafened people learn to speech read, use hearing aids, cochlear implants and assistive listening devices. I have chosen to have a partner to help of the canine variety! Chloe gives me independence and confidence.

I’m not trying to suggest that there are not things that every disability group are simply not able to do. I’m deaf. I’m not able to have a job that relies heavily on communication by phone. There are jobs I could never do that require being able to hear well. I’m afraid I’ll never be an Air Traffic Controller! However, the most empowering thing an individual with a disability can do is learn what they CAN do. We live in a wonderful day of technology and gadgets. I can do many things that I would not have been able to do had I become deaf even 20 years ago. When new people come to our local hearing loss support group, we work hard at helping them find ways to continue doing what they want to do at both work and home. There are times an impasse is reached, and we encourage finding NEW things that bring just as much joy and satisfaction as a past job or hobby.

One is only truly no longer “able”, when they give up and resign themselves to isolation and feelings of worthlessness. Yes… there are things I can no longer do that I once enjoyed. But people who cared “booted me in the backside” and encouraged me to find new things I could do! I have a disability, but I live a rich and full life. I feel productive and satisfied with my life.

I’m sure that being a person of faith, has made this transition to a “new normal” easier for me. My life can change, and my abilities may “morph”. God never changes, nor deviates from being my Anchor that HOLDS. The reality is… HE came “first“, and I work hard at keeping Him there in my life.

Denise Portis

Whew! Glad That is Over!

Published on December 18, 2008December 18, 2008 by hearingelmo5 Comments

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Chloe sleeps, and Sleeps, and SLEEPS!

My vet agreed to do Chloe’s surgery first yesterday as it was considered “minor”, and so that I could get her home earlier than the official 7 PM “release time”.

At 5 PM we arrived at the vet, only to have to sit through post-surgical instructions, paying for the procedure, etc. I was about to yell, “BRING ME MY DOG NOW!” Grin! Good thing my daughter was along to “pinch me if needed” to make sure I stayed calm.

Finally they brought Chloe out to me and she practically drug the vet tech all the way over to Kyersten and I. I asked another question about the sutures, and so had to wait around for the answer. Chloe was “all a-tremble”, and Kyersten told me she was whining the entire time. Normally, I would “shush” Chloe for making noise in public, but under the circumstances? I let her whine.

She woke me up around 2 AM, and I took her outside for about 10 minutes. We walked around a little and she did a “hurry up”, but then just stood outside in the cold with her head and down and eyes closed. (She sleeps standing up a lot, actually!) I finally coaxed her back inside, and put her back to bed. I turned the flashlight on every few minutes, and could see that she was laying down in her bed next to me on the floor, but she wouldn’t put her head down. Likely that ear is sore, and they do sort of HANG. At about 3 AM, I noticed she finally put her head down again.

It was strange waking up before Chloe (and a full 83 minutes after my alarm usually goes off each morning!) I was determined to not make her work today so deliberately did not set my alarm. She was surprised to find me gently nudging her awake.

The hot water for my tea kettle had to be watched extra carefully with my eye on my watch. I didn’t set the kitchen timer for her to let me know when it was “near whistling”. I’m staying home today for Chloe’s sake. She’s on antibiotics, but no pain killers. Actually, the toughest job I’ve had so far this morning was keeping our Elkhound puppy from playing with her. Her ears are a favorite target!

Thanks for all the prayers and good wishes for Chloe. My “inbox” has simply stayed “full” with inquiries and best wishes. We will get the biopsy results by Monday, but the vet told me to “absolutely not worry about it, as she certainly wasn’t”.

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Chloe has a little “notch” in her ear now, but you can’t hardly see it unless you are looking for it. She’s still a beautiful red-head! Grin!

Denise Portis

Not Santa’s Helper… TEACHER’s Helper

Published on December 13, 2008December 13, 2008 by hearingelmo1 Comment

kathleen

When my daughter, Kyersten, started college this Fall, I had a brief moment of panic. For 4 years, she has volunteered to be a “teacher’s aide” for me at school during hours she didn’t have other classes. It’s really wonderful when your daughter is your teacher’s aide. I didn’t have to worry about how she’d feel if I “bossed her around”. Smile.

Faced with a school year with no teacher’s aide, I put out a plea to my older students. “HELP“!

I was surprised that a good number of students eagerly stepped forward to try to fill Kyersten’s shoes. I could only chose one, and so went with who hit “reply” first. I’m glad it was Kathleen. Kathleen (pictured above) is one of my third year American Sign Language students. She has been SUCH a big help this year. As soon as she enters my classroom, she is in full “aide” mode. She doesn’t even ask what needs done, as she figured out after the first class that the camera had to be set up for “Hot Seat”, (* see below), and without being asked she passes out graded work and new lecture notes to each student.

Kathleen didn’t even balk when I made a tiny “big deal” about a Christmas gift I had purchase for her, and even wore the HAT. (Is that “game” or what?)

Over the past 7 years, I have learned to ask for assistance with much more grace. If you have a disability and are “grumpy” about the fact you can’t do all you “use to”, then asking for help can be next to impossible. Someone who is uncomfortable about asking for help, is not even a good candidate for an assistance dog. Even assistance dogs like praise and the occasional treat.

n1143036281_30221118_5859 Chloe wouldn’t wear the hat, but was glad to pose by the tree. She loves to work, but there are some things she can’t do for me. She can’t pick up heavy books that I drop, and I don’t allow her to pick up things that would be dangerous for her. An example would be that I broke a Christmas bulb when helping to decorate the tree. I had to intervene quickly, as she has been taught an automatic retrieve (as most things I drop I don’t hear). I obviously didn’t want her to pick up broken glass. I had to ask one of my teens to help me.

In the grocery store today, I knocked over a huge box of Cheerios in the cereal isle. I didn’t want canine teeth marks in the box. It was big enough that Chloe would have had to exert some pressure to get it up high enough for me to reach it. Instead, I allowed a person standing there watching to assist as they were eager to do so. It was pretty easy for me to transition that to my classroom. I’ve learned to ask my students for “help” when I drop something too heavy for Chloe to pick up. My students never mind hopping out of their seats to help.

A big online THANK YOU to my 2008-2009 teacher’s aide, Kathleen. See you “next year”!

* HOT SEAT: One student each week sits in an “interpreter’s chair” and listens to a pre-taped selection from which they are to sign all that they can. They then take it home and choose 60 seconds to translate, practice and perform the following week.

Denise Portis

“Take a Deep Breath… and Trust Your Dog”

Published on November 15, 2008November 15, 2008 by hearingelmo4 Comments

Thursday was a particularly nasty, rainy day, and I dreaded “the walk down the stairs” more than usual. Funny thing about Meniere’s disease – rain and other types of weather systems can really make a difference in how steady I walk. I finally remembered my camera too, and I can’t tell you how many tries it took me to STAND AT THE TOP OF THESE STAIRS, on a RAINY DAY and TAKE A PICTURE! Grin!

The school I teach at is on the campus of a beautiful Nazarene church. It’s a “new campus” for us this year. I remember at the first teacher’s meeting hearing everyone laugh and remark on “Moses and the Red Sea” on the stairs. Me? I’m thinkin’, “You can look at a MURAL while going down the STAIRS?”

When I arrived at school on Thursday, I stuck my head in the door of the director’s office to grab some paper for the copier. She grimaced slightly and said, “Oh boy, is this rain affecting you today?” Actually, I made light of it and explained to her that really… this is just sort of a new kind of “normal” for me. I don’t really get up in the morning and think, “wow I’m really wobbly today”. This is my “normal”!

Meniere’s disease symptoms that fluctuate with weather systems, also usually produce worsened tinnitus. Meniere’s disease folks always have a hearing loss, but when tinnitus really kicks into “high gear”, those who are simply “hard of hearing” often hear very little when the tinnitus is in a full-out ROAR. I’m actually very blessed, because I hear through the miracle of a cochlear implant. My cochlear implant masks tinnitus, and so even on days my vertigo is worse, I hear just fine!

I showed my husband this picture of “the dreaded staircase”, and we laughed about how some of my “fears” have certainly morphed through the years. When we first got married 22 years ago, I had a very irrational fear of spiders (even little ones). Now I fear staircases, but I argue it’s completely rational! Smile!

I have to tell you though, it’s a very powerful emotion that burns through me when I take that first step down this flight of stairs. On “good days” it takes me about 2 minutes. On “bad days” it takes me about 5 minutes. Chloe is very intuitive. I don’t think she walks outside and sees the rain and puts that together with … “oh my we are going to be taking the stairs slowly today”. However, on “bad days” she patiently takes me all the way to the bottom, even if I have to stop and wait for the stairwell to stop spinning. (I even had to sit rather suddenly once, and she just sat there next to me looking around as if this was perfectly acceptable to her!)

I’ll never forget when we were first matched, I spent a great deal of one-on-one time with my trainer. Admitting to her that I was scared of stairs, insured that we spent some time at a local mall at the foot of a very tall flight of stairs! I remember turning to her with Chloe in “heel”, admitting with a quivering smile, “I’m going to have to do this slow!”

My trainer is a runner. She shrugged her shoulders and said, “Denise, this isn’t a sprint. If you need to take it slow, then take it slow.” So I did… and on that staircase came the realization that I really could trust my dog. If I were going slow, she would too. My trainer had me take the stairs at the mall, in the closed stairwell at the training center, and in her home. She never helped me look for a way around those stairs. Because of her, I go down stairs. I take a deep breath… and I go… down… the stairs. Why?

Because I can.

Chloe? Well she’s not real happy when the rain interferes with her “W – A – L – K ” at lunch hour. The van is boring.

Denise Portis

When One Makes a Plan to Quit Church…

Published on November 4, 2008 by hearingelmo6 Comments

God has a wonderful sense of humor I believe. I’m quite certain that I make Him laugh out loud on occasion, as I can be funny even without trying. (I’m NEVER funny when I DO try!) I also imagine that He has rolled His eyes, chuckled with minor annoyance, and wished He could THUMP me on the head at times as well.

This past week I had a couple of serious discussions with my husband about church. I had a “plan” about when I would no longer be attending church.

I’m getting ahead of myself, however, so let me explain how all this began. I had begun consciously thinking about what I would no longer do once my kids were gone from home. What started all this (dangerous) thinking was my epiphany of how different fixing supper each night would be after it became “just Terry and I”. I have a “soon to be 18-year-old” son, who eats like most 18-year-old boys. He actually eats very healthy… but he eats a LOT. So while fixing supper one evening, I realized that I would go from baking six chicken breasts to baking just two chicken breasts in only a couple of years!

Well we all know how one “thing”, or one “thought”, can lead to another. Before I knew it, I realized that I was thinking about how I was going to have to explain to Terry why I wouldn’t go to church with him anymore. I hated to have that conversation, for I didn’t have a plan to stop going as a result of my losing my faith, anger at God, or a back-slidden spiritual condition. I felt badly for Terry, because he would have to go alone. And yet, it never entered my thinking that he shouldn’t be going alone. It’s as if the decision had already been made.

I really love our church, and our pastor is a phenomenal pastor/teacher. The couple of things I’ve discussed with him about people with hearing loss were always met with approval and a very genuine desire to help. Churches are exempt from the Federal law (ADA) mandating that assistance dogs be allowed to accompany their partner with a disability. Chloe has always been welcome at my church. But…

I am invisible at our church. I come in and a couple of people say “hello”. I then go to sit down, make Chloe comfortable, sing/sign with the congregation, listen attentively, pray, sit around and wait for my family to finish their “clean-up”tasks, and then we go home. I’ve actually written and then deleted a couple of paragraphs here explaining the different ministries in our church and why I can’t participate (or how I “tried” and it failed… believe me there were numerous attempts!) I’ve chosen to not add that in this post because, 1) I don’t want anyone to think I’m being critical. I feel harbor no ill feelings towards any ministry or individual, and 2) the purpose of this post is to explain God’s intervention and how He’s made it clear I cannot deliberate whether or not I should attend church.

So in order to keep this from being “novel length”, let me cut to the chase. I walked into church Sunday and went to my “spot” in order to sit invisible. God sent three different people over to me that did more than say “hello”. They asked how I was doing, what was going on in my life… He even allowed me to offer prayer and encouragement to someone needing to know that someone would honestly “pray without ceasing” for her.

I went from sitting “invisible“, to sitting “surprised”. Chloe kept looking at me funny, so for all I know my mouth was even hung ajar in shock. Yes. At times God chooses to reach down and “thump” His younguns on the head.

In preparing to write this post, I was reminded that one thing many late-deafened people have in common is the trap of a self-imposed isolation. I’ve been to conventions, conferences, and support group meetings. I’ve even spoken in workshops, research symposiums, and on Capital Hill. I should know better. Yet… I am just as much in danger of allowing myself to simply “drop out”, as someone new to hearing loss. Why?

Perhaps it’s because “all of this gets really old”. Or maybe we wonder if we are making a difference to anyone? My messed up thinking had me convinced that I go to church now because my kids care if I do. I didn’t have to twist my own arm or anything to convince myself that after THEY are gone… no one will notice ME gone.

I say all of this in order to remind all of us, that God can use anyone. He can use the deaf, the blind, and those with mobility challenges. He can use the hyperactive, the extremely shy introvert, and those who do not have “traditional” spiritual gifts or talents. In the meantime, my involvement remains at simply being able to faithfully pray. It’s very likely something I do better than most. I disconnect my cochlear implant, and instantly eliminate all background noise and distractions.

I think the late-deafened get bogged down in what they “use to be able to do”. When I could hear I was in the choir, taught 2nd grade boys Sunday School, led two women’s Bible studies, worked in the Deaf Ministry (how ironic!) and acted as a secretary for the Children’s church. I can’t let what I use to be able to do, keep me from finding joy in what I can do now. If the bulk of what I do happens to be ministries outside the church, it doesn’t mean that I should no longer go.

Don’t allow yourself to believe “church” won’t miss you. In the end, that’s not the point of “church” is it?

Denise Portis

Harpers Ferry Sees a lot of US

Published on November 4, 2008November 4, 2008 by hearingelmoLeave a comment

Denise and Chloe at Jefferson Rock in Harpers Ferry State Park, October 2008

We go to Harpers Ferry a great deal. For one thing it is within “spittin’ distance” of our home. Secondly, the view and park is simply breath-taking. No matter what time of year we go, it’s beautiful. I keep telling Terry that when we retire one day, I want to live in the historic section of Harpers Ferry. (I think he thinks I’m teasing!)

Going to Harpers Ferry is much more fun than it use to be. For one thing, I love hearing the trains thanks to the miracle of “hearing again“. For another, I don’t have near the number of falling or stumbling accidents that I use too “pre – Chloe”. Having a hearing assistance dog who also helps with a great number of balance related tasks makes me much more independent. There is one flight of stone steps that I literally CRAWLED up prior to having her counter-balance on the left! I “see more” of Harpers Ferry than I use too! Grin!

Denise Portis

4 Years Ago

Published on October 12, 2008 by hearingelmo2 Comments

Since Chloe turned 4 a week ago today, I’ve been looking at her “puppy” pictures. These are two that really made me smile. The first is when she entered the training program, and honestly! She was hardly big enough for her vest! In training, the dogs wear “therapy dog” vests for the first part of their training. As a teenager, she still didn’t look like “my Chloe” yet. At some point the trainers evaluate whether or not the dogs will “wash” from the program. I have been told that Chloe was an incorrigible puppy.

At some point, the trainers decided that they were seeing an occasional “spark”. Something that they look for, something that they know tells them this dog loves to work. I’m glad they never gave up on Chloe. She’s so dedicated to her job now, and to me! Her pictures in her red “working dog” vest look more like the dog I know!

I wonder if the dogs ever really realize they are being trained to help change someone’s life? I think they get such a kick out of being loved and trained, that they don’t ever realize how important they’ll become to an individual. Each day probably seemed the same as the one before… honing skills and occasionally learning something new.

It made me remember that we as people forget what kind of difference we are making. Some of us have monotonous jobs perhaps. Maybe you work a job that you do not feel makes a big difference because you don’t get paid a lot, or get a lot of recognition. Maybe you are a volunteer for something or serve in some way that gives you great joy, but is rarely acknowleged by anyone else.

I don’t have a job that makes a huge difference in the lives of a great number of people. I work part-time, and am a full-time wife/mother. I remind myself, however, that I only need to do my best to make a difference in the those who ARE in my life. It may be a year or two, maybe even four… where hopefully someone will remember “something” that I was able to teach them that will make a difference.

I suppose that is why we must be so careful of each and every day. We do not know how many days God will grant us. If we waste one day of living to be a BLESSING, it may have been our last opportunity to do so. No excuses. People with disabilities, hardship, sickness and problems can still CHOOSE to be a blessing.

Maybe you feel like you are only going through the motions. Maybe for now you are in “training”. It may a year or two before you see what God can do with a trained “you”. But don’t ever look to far ahead… He uses those puppies in the green vests too. He can use you even when you are still training. Besides… I know very few “dogs” who are no longer training for something!

Denise Portis

The Birthday Girl

Published on October 5, 2008October 5, 2008 by hearingelmo3 Comments

Chloe turned 4-years-old on Saturday.

A kiss from the birthday girl! I should know better than tell her “Happy Birthday” close enough to get kissed for it!

1. If your hearing assistance dog suddenly tenses and crouches right when you get ready to heave a big basket of laundry upstairs… look for stow-away cats before proceeding.

2. Leave your cell phone in the bedroom, not with discarded clothing when taking a bath. You do NOT want your hearing assistance dog alerting when you are under a mountain of bubbles. MESSY!

3. Try to have patience. Dogs don’t have snooze buttons. When your alarm goes off, their job is to get you up. To “ignore them” until the alarm goes off again can “turn an alert” off in a trained dog.

4. When having communion in church on Sunday morning, don’t say, “Stolen” to keep your assistance dog from being curious about what is in the passing plate. The deacon standing there will pass out.

5. If your dog’s automatic command for eliminating is “hurry up”, don’t ever use this phrase again in conjunction with terse commands for your children shopping along side of you.

6. A hearing assistance dog is trained to do an automatic retrieve (although Chloe can do a directed retrieve as well). This means anything dropped in her vicinity is picked up and handed to me. She has “saved” me twice now in parking lots with my van keys! It’s just so very unfortunate when a toddler drops that pacifier in line at the check-out.

7. What a bummer to accidentally re-set the timer for 3 hours and 45 minutes when your turkey has finished baking, and you are now in bed.

8. “head up” and “look” (at me) are two very important commands when going to a public bathroom. I’ve learned some new words from the exclamations coming from adjacent stalls when Chloe peeks her head under at someone.

9. “What is it?” means SHOW ME WHERE THE SOUND IS COMING FROM. It can be difficult extricating a large canine from your lap when she shows you it is coming from the whine from your hearing aid (feedback is the pits!)

10. The dumbest thing I’ve ever heard was, “Can she drive too?”

Denise Portis