Tag: assistance dogs

Harpers Ferry Sees a lot of US

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Denise and Chloe at Jefferson Rock in Harpers Ferry State Park, October 2008

We go to Harpers Ferry a great deal.  For one thing it is within “spittin’ distance” of our home.  Secondly, the view and park is simply breath-taking.  No matter what time of year we go, it’s beautiful.  I keep telling Terry that when we retire one day, I want to live in the historic section of Harpers Ferry.  (I think he thinks I’m teasing!)

Going to Harpers Ferry is much more fun than it use to be.  For one thing, I love hearing the trains thanks to the miracle of “hearing again“.  For another, I don’t have near the number of falling or stumbling accidents that I use too “pre – Chloe”.  Having a hearing assistance dog who also helps with a great number of balance related tasks makes me much more independent.  There is one flight of stone steps that I literally CRAWLED up prior to having her counter-balance on the left!  I “see more” of Harpers Ferry than I use too!  Grin!

Denise Portis

© 2008 Hearing Loss Journal

A Night in the Life of Our Family

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Kyersten is a guest writer on Hearing Elmo and does a fantastic job (in THIS mom’s opinion) of relating what it is like being a CODA (child of deaf adult) or as she prefers it: KODA (Kid of deaf adult).  I think it’s important that readers “hear” the OTHER opinions and thoughts about how deafness affects a family.  Sometimes those thoughts are sad.  Sometimes those thoughts are angry.  And sometimes?  Sometimes it’s just really funny…

It was very impressive.

We watched as mom sailed over the gate. She flew gracefully in the air and landed rather ungracefully on the ground.

It’s not the fall that hurts, it’s the landing.

There was silence.

This is what she looked like:

Chloe, half asleep, sat up on the couch and peered down at Mom. This is what Chloe looked like:

(… well what she’d look like if she were a cat)

Mom said “ow”.

Chris stifled a laugh, quickly changing his face to the look of a concerned son.

I expressed casual worry, “You okay, Mom?”

Dad asked what happened, unfortunately having missed the dramatic gliding over the gate.

While worried about her, we were starting to get used to her lying on the floor, embarrassed and dazed.

Dad went to help her up. They looked for serious injuries. He helped her back to the couch.

And so we resumed our evening.

Kyersten is eighteen years old and lives with her dad, late-deafened mom, and 6’3″ “baby” brother in Maryland.  To leave out mention of the menagerie of animals living there as well would be… wise – as she wanted this short.

Denise Portis

© 2008 Hearing Loss Journal

“Cane” Shopping

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I’ve been a little depressed the past week or so.  I took a pretty bad fall a “rainy weekend” ago, and had to follow-up with my doctor to make sure I hadn’t broken a leg, arm or rib.  I was covered in bruises for a couple of weeks.  I mentioned to my husband, that I noticed that if I use my umbrella on the right side (with Chloe in heel on the left), then I do much better on rainy days.

Falling doesn’t make me depressed.  Bruises don’t make me depressed.  Mentioning “it may be time for me to get a cane for rainy days”, and darling hubby jumping all over it?  That made me depressed.  I said it half in jest, but he was completely serious.

I’ve been falling all my life.  I was one of those “accident prone” kids. I even remember one time in college, my RA told me, “Denise, you fall and run into stuff more than anyone I know!”  What is interesting to note, is that I didn’t have a significant hearing loss in college.  I only had a moderate unilateral loss due to a pedestrian vs. vehicle accident at the age of six.  (The car won)

I didn’t begin losing my hearing (sensorineural hearing loss) until I had a couple of babies at the age of twenty-five.  The hearing loss continued in both my ears for over a decade before I did anything about it.  All the while, I continued to “fall and run into stuff” a great deal.  It’s never been strange for me to be sporting bruises.  (The “ATTIC STORY” has become rather infamous!)

Somewhere along the way I developed a mild form of Meniere’s disease.  Without my cochlear implant and/or hearing aid, I have constant tinnitus.  But it is “manageable”, and I’m quite accustomed to the constant ringing when I’m not utilizing technology and bionics to hear.  I sleep very soundly “in spite of”.  Along with the tinnitus, however, I began to have vertigo and other balance problems.  It is worse when it’s a rainy day, so I know the weather affects it.  There is very little one can do for Meniere’s.  I cut down on salt, take Manganese tablets, and try to get a lot of rest.

Regardless, on rainy days I have to move carefully and methodically.  Chloe acts as a great counter-balance on stairs, ramps, inclines, slopes, etc.  However ceiling fans, fast moving bodies (like students running), or loud noises make the dizziness worse.  I face a flight of stairs “round trip, each school day.  I would think the stairwell is about 8 feet wide, but it is DEEP and STEEP.  Just standing at the top of the stairs and preparing to descend, the whole stairwell starts to spin, and I lose a great deal of my peripheral vision due to the vertigo.  It can be terrifying, but I’m confident for the most part and Chloe certainly adds stability.  On rainy days, however, you can multiply that terror times TEN.

If I happened to fall down THOSE stairs, there is no doubt I would break something.  It’s not that I’ve never broken a bone before!  My word, I’ve broken a femur, toes, fingers, my sternum, and cracked multiple bones as well.  But I’m rather terrified of that stairwell.  Perhaps it’s because I’m afraid I’ll hurt Chloe.  Perhaps it’s because I know how it would completely freak out the director of my school!  (grin)

To humor hubby, I’ve done a little “cane shopping” online.  At least some of them are pretty.

But darn… I’m depressed!  I find myself asking, “Has it come to this?”

But you know what? I can’t sit around feeling sorry for myself very long. I was taught to “belly-ache if you must”, but then recall how blessed you are!  And truly… I am very blessed.  With my cochlear implant I hear better than I had ever hoped to “this side of Heaven”.  I have a wonderful and supportive family, and a super assistance dog who loves to work.  The blessings FAR outweigh my little problems with balance.

I have learned to poke fun at myself when needed, and it has certainly made others more comfortable around my implant, assistance dog, and even dizziness.  But I really hate falling…

For now I’m “in shopping mode”.  At least they aren’t very expensive!  At least I’d only need one when the weather is bad.  At least some are pretty!  I could add a whole list of “at leasts”! I suppose that’s a form of counting your blessings.

For now, I’ll just “window/monitor” shop. At least… until hubby brings it up again.

Denise Portis

© 2008 Hearing Loss Journal

Learning the HARD Way

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Don’t you hate “lessons learned the hard way”?  I must be one of those stubborn “souls” that must learn things by bearing the consequences of unheeded warnings.  As a child, I’m sure my mother probably warned, “Clean your room or no watching Sesame Street and ELMO”.  Knowing ME, I likely closed that door on the messy room in hopes “out of sight, out of mind” worked with my Mom.  (Does that EVER… work with MOM?)

Even as an adult, I can still be stubborn.  I have a hearing loss, but “hear again” (in ideal situations) through the miracle of a cochlear implant.  I have balance problems due to a mild form of Meniere’s disease.  But every “lesson” I’ve learned, I’ve learned the hard way.  Anticipating possible consequences was never something I sat around contemplating.  For me… it had to “happen” before I learned to make necessary changes.

These lessons include:

My Hearing and Hearing Assistance Dog

1.  Have Size 675 batteries EVERYWHERE.  In the car and van, in Chloe’s vest, in my purse, in my training bag, in my Bible, in my jewelry box, on my dresser, and in Chloe’s treat bag.  Failure to not have them EVERYWHERE, results in my being caught “deaf” when my cochlear implant dies.

2.  When I get my “20 minute Beep” from my CI, start digging for batteries right away.  Otherwise, when those 20 minutes are up, I’m left having a conversation with someone with my mouth dropped open in surprise at the sudden silence.

3.  Have “clean up” bags everywhere for Chloe.  I even carry them in her vest pocket, that way they are always handy.  Just because she goes “potty” like clockwork at the SAME time, every day, does NOT mean that she will never “up and decide” she needs to go at some random location!  Failure to carry them with me all the time, means that I have to come back to that place to “pick up” after running home for the bags!

4.  Tell Chloe a basic obedience command once.  If I say it four or five times, she will learn to ignore me. Or worse yet, she “counts” and waits until I’ve said “Chloe sit” 5 times before doing it! Give the command after her name ONE TIME, and then correct with an immediate correction should she fail to follow through.

5.  If I don’t hear what someone says… even simply PART of what someone says… do not pretend I completely understand. Failure to clarify means I will likely say “that’s nice” when someone tells me their aunt passed away, when I thought they said “My aunt’s pants are gray”.

6.  Follow up important meetings with an email.  This insures I have received all the information correctly, and will even remind the other person about deadlines and issues we discussed.  Failure to follow-up will likely result in my forgetting something important as I did not hear clearly.

My Balance and Assistance Dog

1.  I wear bangs so that I don’t have to deal with the peripheral of ceiling fans.  Those suckers are EVERYWHERE!  My bangs keep me from easily seeing the rotation, resulting in fewer “tumbles”.  If I wear my hair without bangs because of fashion, I’m usually “in style” but looking up at the concerned faces of people standing over my prone body.

2.  Stay away from caffeine during the day.  Morning coffee is fine.  Soft drinks all day only insure that I am banging into everything by bedtime.

3.  If asking Chloe to brace, check our immediate surroundings first.  If she sees a family member nearby, she may “wiggle” in a brace causing me to fall.

4.  Do not allow anyone to pet Chloe in vest EVER.  If I break my own rule, Chloe will never understand not to “visit” when in vest.  Her moving suddenly or reaching for an outstretched hand means that I will fall. I will fuss at friends and family members should they think “Do not Pet” does not mean them.

5.  If Manganese is suppose to help the tinnitus and balance problems, then for Heaven’s sake TAKE THE MANGANESE.  It takes a good 3 weeks for enough to be built up in my system to work.  Pretend the Manganese is something important… like birth control or something!  If I don’t take it regularly, then I continue to have frequent symptoms.

6.  If someone close to me (KYERSTEN) begs me to ride a roller coaster, or other amusement park ride that actually MOVES in more than one direction, insist on watching from the sidelines.  It’s not like Chloe would enjoy it either!  Caving in to begging daredevils (KYERSTEN), simply means I’ll be sniffing smelling salts later.

7.  When taking a bath, do not lock the door.  Chloe can do a lot of things, but she can’t unlock a door should I fall.  (Like last night… behind a locked door… with a concerned assistance dog looking at all the bubbles thrown everywhere and unable to go get help!) Leave the door unlocked.  You can always throw a bar of soap should someone come in without permission.  (Not that the AIM of someone with balance problems is that great… but I can SCREAM).

Denise Portis

© 2008 Hearing Loss Journal

Parking Lot Adventure

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Mom and I came out of the pet store with two huge dog food bags, a huge bag of litter, and three new litterboxes. It was starting to sprinkle rain, so Mom took her “ears” (her cochlear implant and hearing aid), out and carefully stored them in her purse. We made a plan: she and Chloe would make a break to the van and open it.  I would push the heavy cart to the van. Sounds deceptively simple right?

Mom and Chloe ran out into the rain. I pushed the cart and ran into the parking lot… in front of a car (don’t worry, they had stopped for me).  Suddenly, the three litterboxes fell from my cart, into the exact middle of the road.

“Uh oh! MOM! THEY FELL! COME BACK!!!” I yelled, momentarily forgetting Mom couldn’t hear me without her “ears”. She continued to run into the distance. A woman standing on the sidewalk stared after her.

“Yeah! YOU GO GET THE CAR, I’LL STAY HERE!!” I yelled, as if that was our plan all along… in case anyone thought my mom had abandoned me… to be hit by a car… as I dragged my litterboxes and cart to the sidewalk.

Well, technically she had!  But… she didn’t mean to. I am a CODA – child of a deaf adult – and I was used to having to say, “Oh, she can’t hear me, I’m on my own for this one.”

Mom turned around when she reached the car and realized what happened. She stored Chloe in the van and raced back to help me.

I was howling with laughter at this point. I have a strange sense of humor.

Mom was laughing too. I probably looked ridiculous trying to drag everything out of the way. And so we laughed  in the rain, as we smiled apologies to cars and people.  We finally dragged our cartload to the van.

“What are you – deaf??” I teased when we reached the van.

Being a CODA has taught me a certain level of independence, learning to think for myself. When household accidents, parking lot accidents, losing someone in a store, etc. happen, I learned to calmly handle the situation myself or to walk to my mom. I can’t always call for my mommy…she can’t hear me. It’s something I learned and accepted.

Just like I know I can’t stand behind my mom and talk to her. Because 99% of the time, after pouring my heart out to her back, she’ll turn around and give a piercing scream, all because she didn’t know I was there!

Having a mom with a hearing loss isn’t a trial, it’s just different. My brother and I adjusted just like my mom had to adjust to her hearing loss. It affects the whole family, but it doesn’t have to be negative. We adapt and change along with her.

And it does give us extremely amusing moments…or extremely scary, because having your mom scream loudly when she turns to see you usually causes you to scream in return. Trust me. Ask Chloe.

Kyersten Portis

18-years-old

Kyersten’s mom lost her hearing when Kyersten was only two-years-old.  Kyersten has only known her “mom” as a person with hearing loss.  Kyersten and her family live in Maryland with a menagerie of animals.

But I’m afraid…

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But I’m afraid…

This morning my assistance dog, Chloe, was out on the porch barking her head off.  I’ve never appreciated how she looks without a head, so I found myself hustling outside to see what all the fuss was about.  At first, I couldn’t figure out what she was barking at, but it was very clear that Chloe was afraid.  Each muscle in her 4 legs were trembling with fear and tension, her forehead was wrinkled, and she whined in between high pitch barks!  I had to step closer in order to finally see what she was fixated on… a tiny bird feather.

Now I’m the first to brag that my working dog is a very smart canine!  She loves to learn, loves to work, and loves to train!  But sometimes… her fear keeps her from putting all the pieces together.  Sometimes… she needs help to look past her fear and approach things a little more logically.  I continued to reassure her that everything was fine.  I wanted her to investigate it a little closer with a little more, erm… backbone!  Grin!

Me: “Chloe… it’s OK girl!  It’s just a feather, and it won’t hurt you.  Show me!  What is it?”

Chloe: (Looks at me like, “Don’t you SEE?  Oh my gosh!  LOOK!  Show you?  But I’m afraid…“)

It seems that feathers have a smell… at least they do if you are a dog.  Chloe could smell a recent “alive kind of smell“.  When she would get close enough to sniff the feather, her sniff would MOVE the feather… and much to her dismay TOWARDS HER!!  Therefore, Chloe was convinced it was alive!  What does a hound dog do when they think something is alive?  They bark!  When Chloe would bark at the feather, it would move even MORE, but away from her!  Feathers are so light that they tend to want to follow the natural rules that feathers follow when applying physics… a hound dog’s hot air.

Even holding the feather in my hand, had her cowering in fear!  I sat on the porch and talked to her, all the while holding the feather out towards her.  Finally, she crept up behind me and with head on my shoulder sniffed and huffed at the feather in my hand.  I could feel her trembling, with her fearful “self” pressed up behind me!  Eventually a good, stiff, Maryland-September breeze picked the feather up and flew it up over the railing and out into the yard.

Chloe cocked her head to the side and looked at me like, “Well! What did you do THAT for?”

She was afraid of the feather, but wanted the feather.

But I’m afraid…

Last night I attended our school’s kick-off meeting.  All the teachers were present, and I knew I would face supper, entertainment, games, dessert, announcements and fellowship.  I have to admit it was something I had to make myself attend.  The night before I had even cried all over my husband, trying to find a way to get out of having to go!

When you have a hearing loss, there is just something incredibly intimidating about going to a group function that reverberates with the background noise of a large number of excited and “pumped” teachers!  I planned in advance, and made sure my cochlear implant batteries were fresh so that I wouldn’t “go dead” in the middle of a conversation.  I brought some assistive listening devices that work in conjunction with my t-coils on both my CI and my hearing aid.  Due to some recent rains, I knew I was wobbly enough to need Chloe’s special collar.  I was prepared.  I wanted to go.  I needed to go.  But I was afraid…

I talked to my director via email prior to going.  I’ll admit that I was trying to see if it was something I did indeed have to attend.  I did… and my director knew I needed to for more than the information we received as teachers.  She knew I needed to go in order face my fear.

My fellow teachers are very nice people.  I WANT to get to know them better… to even gain the treasure of a friend or two.  But in year’s past I’ve seen the look of panic when I put a microphone nearer their face in order to hear them better in a crowd.  I’ve seen their faces as they inwardly castigate themselves as they said something behind their napkin and I had to ask, “Pardon?”  (I’m a transplanted Southern gal, what can I say?)  I’m 100% sure that if these teachers knew how afraid I was of them, they would be devastated!

In my HEAD, I know that I have nothing to fear.  And yet, when I go to these things I find myself saying, “But I’m afraid… ”

My consolation, is that it is getting better.  The more functions I attend like this, the more comfortable I become.  The “feather moves”, and I’m a little jumpy about it; however, I’m learning it’s just a “feather”.

I’m thankful I do not seem to have the same illogical fears towards my students.  Young people seem so incredibly natural towards me.  If I have to ask a student for a repeat… seven different times… they cheerfully do so without any visible qualms at all.  Perhaps it’s because my classes are “electives”, (although many take them as alternative foreign language).  I know they CHOOSE to be there, and it doesn’t bother them that their teacher has a hearing loss.  I do not feel disabled around them.

With my peers it is different.  I hope it isn’t always so.

I want to attend meetings like these, but am afraid of meetings like these.

At least with fellow teachers, I am becoming stronger and more confident.  Perhaps I need a good, stiff, Maryland-September breeze to convince myself I’m in a “safe place”.  At least with every one I go to, I’m less “trembly”… and heck!  I quit barking months ago!

Denise Portis

© 2008 Hearing Loss Journal

Psalm 56:3: “But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in You.

Reader’s Digest and Thyme

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OK!  I admit it!  I’m a fan of Reader’s Digest.  I grew up on a farm in Baca County, Colorado, and my only friends were tumbleweeds, newborn calves and my cousins up the road!  Because we had a “party line” for a telephone, I never dared to talk on the phone to school friends who lived several sections of land south on other ranches. (1 section of land = 640 acres) Needless to say, when the Reader’s Digest arrived each month my siblings and I fought over who had earned the right to disappear with it as a result of chores already completed in anticipation of the mail.

Since that time, Reader’s Digest has changed it’s look a little bit, and it’s index and page numbers are easier to navigate.  It comes in “large print”, and you can even access it online!  I’m still an avid fan of Reader’s Digest, although I’m the one who pays the subscription now.

This month’s RD came in the mail this past week, and I finally had the chance to sit down with it yesterday as it had been in “hiding” with my own kids who chose to disappear with it on it’s arrival.

I had to laugh at a “humor” story about a Simon and Garfunkel song.  Yes, yes I know!  Just knowing the song, and knowing the duet means I’ve tragically aged myself.  Perhaps this will finally put to rest that rumor that I’m Terry’s 2nd wife!  I really DID grow up in the late 60’s and 70’s!

It seems a little girl had been listening to the song, “Scarborough Fair”.  She looked up at her parent and asked, “So did Parsley save Rosemary in time?”  I can’t really explain why I got the giggles over this.  I was actually laughing so hard that I had to wipe the tears of mirth from my eyes.  Chloe sat and looked at me with her very serious hound-dog look.  She was a little apprehensive, as she had been given no training about how to deal with Denise if she’d lost her mind!

As a person with hearing loss, I often misunderstand things that people say.  I’ve learned to repeat what I THOUGHT I heard when something doesn’t “fit” in the conversation.  This allows me to be proactive about the way I hear, and helps others “hear” what things may sound like to a person with hearing loss should they “rush” or “mumble”.  (See?  All those workshops at hearing loss conventions have paid off!  I really HAVE learned something!)

I love that even people with normal hearing sometimes mistake what they hear.  I also believe it’s very important for people with hearing loss to communicate what they hear when something doesn’t make sense.  It helps EVERYONE to speak up and ask for clarification.

I’ve only encountered one problem with this practice.  It doesn’t work in reverse.  If you’ve men in your life (husbands and teenage sons in particular) you can relate.  You repeat what you thought you heard and are RIGHT.  Aforementioned subjects try desperately to find an “life raft” from their “ship that is quickly sinking“!  An example:

me: “Honey?  Will you let the dogs out and get one of the kids to set the table?”

“honey”: “I’m reading the paper, and have worked all day.  Give me a minute!”

(I poke my head around the corner with eyes wide and point to my CI which clues the other person in that I heard “something” just fine!)

me: “Did you say, ‘I’m reading the paper and have worked ALL DAY?’ ”

(The paper comes down, the color washes from his face and all of 60 seconds rushes by as if time is being SUCKED OUT OF THE ROOM)

“honey”: “Umm… I said ‘I can’t REACH the paper to THROW IT AWAY’ ”

(I look at the paper in “honey’s” lap and raise one eyebrow with the practice and finesse of a true “Mr. Spock”/Star Trek fan… )

“Honey” gets up to let the dogs out…

Denise Portis

© 2008 Hearing Loss Journal

Prepare Your Feet

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As she is a service/assistance dog, I work hard at keeping Chloe in great shape.  I maintain her weight, bathe her, brush her teeth, groom her, and take care of her feet.  Chloe is usually fast asleep when I give her a pedicure.  I guess she only gets pedicures!  She can’t have a manicure being she doesn’t have hands… only feet!  Chloe gets her nails clipped and then dremeled, and the hair on her feet is trimmed away to keep debris from getting in her footpad hair, and to allow maximum traction.  I “prepare her feet“, because she has an important job.

As a person with hearing loss, I have to “prepare my feet“. I can’t just get up every day, with little to no preparation and expect to function at my best.

Physically:

I “prepare my feet” by making sure I get a good night’s rest.  Fatigue can be a real enemy of a person with hearing loss.  It takes extra effort to read lips, “listen”, and communicate.  I try to eat right, and eliminate salt and caffeine as much as I can to help me manage Meniere’s symptoms.

Mentally:

I always reflect on communication disasters in order to better prepare for the next problem.  To “prepare my feet” mentally, I dissect failed communication situations and attempt to discover what I did RIGHT, and what I did WRONG.  I have even role-played with my family members or HLAA chapter members in order to better discover situational communication strategies that work better for different personalities.

Emotionally:

“Preparing my feet” emotionally is difficult.  I am an emotional person.  A true “melancholy”, I have all the strengths and WEAKNESSES of this personality.  I remember that by responding positively and with grace, it will normally yield patience and understanding from those hearing folks I’m in contact with each day.  I try very hard not to take things personally, and to not live in a defensive and paranoid manner.  I remind myself that those closest to me are impacted by my hearing loss as well.  I should extend the same grace that I desire from them.

Spiritually:

As a person of faith, I am very conscious of how important it is to “prepare my feet” spiritually.

First and foremost, I recognize that God is truly the only one that can meet the needs of this many times self-centered, pessimistic child.  I rest in the fact that He alone communicates with me perfectly.  I can even remove my CI, “climb up in His lap” and pour my heart out.  I “hear” Him just fine and acknowledge that I should read His word daily.

Secondly, I know that just as His Son washed the feet of His followers to show what true servant hood is, I need to “prepare others’ feet” to show that my own spiritual feet are prepared.  I want to help people… especially those with hearing loss.

I openly and frankly admit that I often do not know how to do that at this stage in my life.  I have a tiny, “baby” HLAA chapter that is struggling due to lack of volunteers.  I no longer have speaking opportunities and venues in which to speak to those with hearing loss.  And yet…

… doors are opened to me almost daily to reach out in some way.  This past week, I’ve talked to a television station reporter about hearing loss, touched base with Walk4Hearing contacts, heard from numerous readers from a “hearing loss blog” network, and while running errands meet individuals who notice my CI bling and ask questions.  Being a servant simply means being available.  To be available… “prepare your feet“.  You will be surprised at the number of doors opened in which you can make a difference in someone’s life.

Denise Portis

© Hearing Loss Journal

My Canine Smoke Alarm!

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Guess what?  Chloe alerted me to a fire today!

I was home alone working in the office upstairs, and she kept getting up and going to the office door and sniffing the air.  I’d call her back to lay down and kept working… I guess my nose isn’t what hers is!  She did this at least twice.  Finally, she came and sat in front of me and then suddenly jumped up with both paws in my lap.  My balance is so poor, we’ve never allowed Chloe to do this.  So I was really startled!  I said, “What’s wrong, Chloe?”

She ran to the office door and then looked back at me.  I thought, “Gee she really has to ‘hurry up’ (pee)!”  So I followed her downstairs.  She stopped at the laundry room door, which isn’t normal.  She usually goes clear to the backdoor and waits patiently for me to let her out.

I asked her to “move”, and looked in the laundry room… and I could already smell smoke!  There was a thin wisp of smoke coming out from under our old fridge in which we keep drinks.  I ran to the electrical outlet, unplugged it, and then opened the back door.  Chloe ran outside and I started moving things away from the fridge.  As I moved the fridge, lint that was under it kept sparking so I took some wet paper towels and drug it out.  (I have a nice burn on my thumb now.)  I think as oxygen got to the dirt, lint and cat hair under there it started to really “catch”.  I was scared to death it was going to catch fire.  The fridge is over 20 years old, so it’s no surprise it has decided to quit.

I now know I need a smoke alarm in our laundry room.  There’s one in almost every room of the house except there!

I called Chloe back into the house, and she watched me clean up.  It was a mess!  The freezer part was completely thawed out (so it must have stopped working a day or more ago).  I think the only thing that kept it from really bursting into flames, was that there was very little oxygen getting to it.  I have no idea how she knew something was wrong.  I could only smell it when I got downstairs!

We’d been working on the smoke alarm alert upstairs, but never with smoke… nor working on it at all downstairs.  I’m still not sure how she knew something was wrong!  I guess she just realized to alert me to things I’m not reacting too!

Anyway, Terry came right home and pronounced the fridge “dead”.

I’m so proud of her!

Denise Portis
©2008 Hearing Loss Diary

The Dangers of Obsessions

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We all have obsessions. Some folks live for Wendy’s Frosty’s, other’s may be addicted to the series “24“. (I hope hubby isn’t reading this!) Sometimes people become obsessed with a person, a movie star, music, weight loss, or blogging. (gulp)

Obsessions are actually an unhealthy preoccupation with something. It’s perfectly normal to have preferences, and to enjoy something in which you have an avid interest. Unfortunately, our interests sometimes become… obsessions. Obsessions interfere with living life in a normal way. Some people argue that what is “normal” for one person is not “normal” for another, therefore, one cannot dictate what is an unhealthy obsession or preoccupation. The truth of the matter is that if any ONE thing, person, or activity, keeps us from living a life that makes a difference, then that “something”… that “obsession” has become something that interferes in a dangerous and toxic way.

I don’t try to hide the fact that I’m a person of faith. I have a relationship with Christ, and almost everything I do hinges on the question that reverberated through our culture in the mid-90’s, “What Would Jesus Do?” (WWJD). I believe Christ lived to make a difference. (He died to make one too). So I periodically, take a look at my life and see if I can find any “red flags”… and obsessions that are getting in the way of making a difference.

My assistance dog, Chloe, is a highly skilled and diligently trained working dog. I habitually attend follow-up training sessions with her in order to maintain and sharpen her skills. It allows me to address weaknesses with trainers who are “paying attention”, and it strengthens the bond I have with Chloe. However, Chloe is obsessed with bunnies. As a matter of fact, if I’m sitting near a window and nonchalantly voice, “Oh, look. There’s a bunny“… she comes running to the window to get a look herself! When we walk in the evenings, Chloe’s obsession with bunnies has actually put me in danger. If my Meniere’s has my balance in limbo for the day, it doesn’t take much to put me flat on my face. If my highly trained dog’s obsession with bunnies has her forgetting and disregarding everything she has learned, I’m likely to find myself face first in the sidewalk with a straining, whining, hound at the end of the leash!

Chloe loves me. She works hard and loves to please me. I’m not pleased when I’m face down on the sidewalk, feeling every bruise from having an out-of-control hound – one whose obsession is bunnies! I’ve been looking for some ways I can enjoy our walks better. I recently read about some great assistance dog training tools at one of my favorite blogs “Service Dog Sawyer“. I plan to measure Chloe for one of these harnesses… soon! I happen to know the “trainer behind Sawyer”, AND his partner. I’m going to bug them to help!

Until then, I have to just be careful that I am more attentive to my surroundings than she is. As a matter of fact, I many times notice clover-eating bunnies that Chloe doesn’t spot. As long as I see the bunny first, I can work hard at distracting her and “bracing for impact”.

People have obsessions too. I have a 17-year-old son. The “gaming” industry knows their audience. Most “gamers” are guys. I think God created men to be “goal reaching” achievers, who are proud of their accomplishments. They work hard at “winning”, and at “being the best”. Competition does them good. It motivates them, and adds “fuel to their fire”. It’s part of what makes them an eventual “provider” and “head of the home”. But young men today are obsessed with gaming. All those God-given tendencies are being used to “go up a level”, to be able to buy “more stuff” to enable their virtual “warrior” to excel. I currently have a summer-time contract with my son about his technology and games. If I didn’t set limits, Chris would literally play ALL DAY on days he doesn’t work. I’ve been setting limits on his gaming time since he was 10-years-old. I would like to think at 17, he can now set his own boundaries. But the “draw” is too strong, and when he’s bored he could play all day and not even realize he has. At least at 17, I am able to discuss and compromise… working towards a contract we both can live with!

I know young men who play all day long. Even those who work summer jobs, tend to be gaming on their days off. Why aren’t they signing up at libraries and volunteering to help teach someone to read? Why aren’t they volunteering at hospitals, camps, and churches? Why aren’t they reading? (I recently had a discussion with my husband about reading. He’s a psychologist and has studied this topic a great deal. Bottom line, “readers are leaders”. Not the greater percentage… not those who make a lot of money as well… every single GREAT leader is a “reader”). I wish young men who play a great deal of games would ask themselves, “Whose life have I made a difference in today? What have I done “for eternity? In what ways have I grown who I am today?” My son is reading Do Hard Things, by Alex and Brett Harris. He’s actually enjoying the book and he and hubby are attending “The REBELution” tour in July in our area. Chris LIKES being challenged to do “hard things”. He even sees how our culture has “dumbed down” what a life with purpose means for young men. (At least he sees it thanks to mom and dad bringing it to his attention!)

I believe people with hearing loss (and likely other disabilities) can become obsessed with technology. I have many online friends. It’s very easy for me to communicate online through email, IM, message boards, blogs, and forums. I “hear” great online! But if I’m not careful, I can spend most of my day online “working” and “investing” myself through the internet. The things in which I accomplish can be “good” things. However, if I push my keyboard back and take a look at my life closely, I can readily see the damage and void in my life caused from not being with people face-to-face.

Don’t get me wrong. Many wonderful things are accomplished online. Relationships can be strengthened; advice and support can be given and received. Information and education can be gleaned from being online and interacting with others who are as well. I like to think I’ve made a difference in other’s lives through spending time online. I like to believe this, because I am VERY certain others HAVE made a difference in MY life through “reaching me” online!

However, I really believe that there are people in our realm of influence who are in contact with us physically, emotionally and LITERALLY. We can miss opportunities for making a difference in their lives if we are distracted by our internet “world”. Although the internet has opened up many doors of opportunity… even opportunities to minister and make a difference… it can also make us oblivious to the needs of those breathing the same air we do.

Obsessions aren’t problematic for young men and hound dogs alone. Anyone can become preoccupied with something and end up “starving” another area of their life. May we all take breaks in order to evaluate whether we are living unbalanced lives!

Denise Portis
©2008 Hearing Loss Diary