hearing assistance dogs – Page 5

Camera Shy

Published on February 3, 2009February 3, 2009 by hearingelmo2 Comments

The dogs were having such a great time in the snow this morning, I decided to “dash” inside to get the camera. (At least I did a “dash” for one such as I!) By the time I returned, they were still “throwing snow” at each other so I quickly turned the camera on and began taping.

Yeah. You guessed it, I’m sure. My kids tell me the camera makes a beep when it starts taping. Perhaps that was their “cue” to stop acting so darn cute! Regardless of the “how”, they did put an immediate stop to their antics.

Documented Proof

The dogs were having a great time skidding around in the snow – true. But I’ve also been trying to surreptitiously document how incredibly nutty our puppy is in the snow! He’s an “arctic dog”, and honestly I have to force the little booger inside when the temperature drops below freezing. As it is, when he is tired, he tries to find the biggest patch of snow on which to nap!

I thought I had a perfect “Kodak moment” (or maybe candid camera?) when I sneaked the camera outside. Turn the silly thing “on”, and the dogs slid to a halt. Sigh. We adopted Tyco from my trainer who also does Norwegian Elkhound rescue. I’ve also wanted to tape and document how happy Tyco is with our family, and how perfect a “match” he is for our family. Now Pat will have to take my word for it! Grin.

Invisible Disabilities

This need for “proof”… finding a viable way to show something was true above and beyond the value of my “word”, reminded me of my deafness is some ways.

I get some “flack” for wearing my hair up which allows both my hearing aid and cochlear implant to be visible. I’ve had some culturally Deaf folks give me “heck” for not only choosing a CI, but for wearing “bling” on the device as if I were proud of it – as I am! I’ve had late-deafened people question my sanity for choosing to make something visible that doesn’t need to be. Some try to “blend in” and “look like everyone else”, desperately hoping their hearing loss does not interfere with relationships, a job promotion, or other’s perceptions of their abilities.

I suppose in the beginning I was the same way. I didn’t deliberately TRY to hide my hearing aid, but my hair is long and it did the trick without my trying! However, there came a day when my hearing loss changed from “moderate” to “severe” to “profound”. Speech reading is not an exact science, and my hearing aids were no longer giving me any benefit. I was “missing things”. If people were not aware that I had a hearing loss, they did not know to get my attention prior to communicating with me. I said things at inappropriate times (and still do), or missed what the topic was that was being discussed. I decided to try to make my hearing loss more visible. I did this to help both OTHERS, and myself! I wore my hair up, and wore a magnetic badge that said, “Please Face Me. I read lips!”

After I received my cochlear implant, I decided then and there that I was going to continue to make my invisible disability – visible. I wanted “proof” that I had a hearing loss. I was tired of being misunderstood, or labeled as slow, stuck-up, or mean. My CI allows me to hear voices really well (although I still benefit from a person getting my attention first), but I still miss a lot of things to in crowds and big cavernous locations like malls, restaurants, arenas, gyms, etc. I wanted to SHOW my ears and technology, as a reminder that in many circumstances I am still deaf!

For those who don’t know me, my visible technology lets them know I hear differently. A little patience and good communication skills will insure we communicate just fine. Chloe actually “shouts” the fact that there is something different about me anyway! Everyone notices her FIRST. They “mosey over” to read her vest and THEN look up and check out my ears!

For those who DO know me well, I’ve found my “visibility” reminds them I am still deaf “in spite of” my cochlear implant. We had a fire inspector come and test the alarms at our school a couple of weeks ago. My director planted herself right next to me, as I think she was afraid of what Chloe may do. She didn’t want me “falling down” on her “watch” – smile. When the alarm went off Chloe cocked her head and listened. My director explained that there was a voice as well as the alarm. (Evidently, it explains the emergency and instructs people where to go?) I was talking to Chloe to keep her calm (as she was visibly shaking), and I kept an eye on the blinking lights of the strobe section of the alarms set in the hallway.

Later at lunch, my son found me and asked out of concern, “Gee mom! How did Chloe do during the fire alarm?”

I proudly explained how she remained calm and sat in heel during the entire thing. I told him how the director of our school came to stand next to me to “help if needed”.

Chris contemplated that a moment and then said, “It’s a good thing you wear your hair up so those of us who know you remember you still are deaf! You act so normal now!”

(So pre-implant how does that mean I behaved? Gulp!)

Denise Portis

College for a Day!

Published on January 28, 2009January 29, 2009 by hearingelmo1 Comment

chloe-liberty

Chloe had a great time visiting a college last week. She doesn’t mind car trips, and was pretty good in the motel as well! (She loves elevators!)

Once on campus, I fought to keep her calm. Chloe’s weaknesses are MEN and “Teens”. What is a college campus full of? College guys, who all thought she was rather lovely too. Oh my! After a few corrections, she finally realized “Gee. Denise means business!” She loved the arena area (above),

because she was able to watch all the action from up high. She had the best

seat in the house. She totally ignores all the double-takes.

I’m so glad our church has a live band every Sunday. The band, lights,

NOISE in the arena were not worth getting excited about, and she is

totally accustomed to my signing the songs. Later during a meeting a

“boy group” of 3 young men came in to sing to the parents/visitors.

They came and crooned literally within a yard of her. She slept

right through it. I’m so glad this type of atmosphere is normal

for her!

Chloe was mildly amused when an admissions counselor asked

me if I was planning on transferring to the university.

I was not so amused. (My husband and daughter were snickering,

however!)

Ah college… being there almost made me “miss it”!

Denise Portis

© 2009 Hearing Loss Journal

Nightmare Trip

Published on January 25, 2009January 30, 2009 by hearingelmo3 Comments

chloe-home-from-libery

Trip home: Chloe kept making sure Mom was ok…

Kyersten Portis often writes for Hearing Elmo. She has only known “Mom” (Denise) as a late-deafened adult. Hearing loss affects the entire family unit, and my disability has made it possible that all members of my family are incredibly “ABLE”.

The scene was already something from a horror movie. It was late at night on HWY 501, and we didn’t know where we were going. The road was out in the middle of nowhere. The mountains loomed around us and the road showed little sign of life apart from a few abandoned looking buildings. Off in the darkness one could see the dark emptiness of a valley. The road was winding, narrow, and the top speed limit was 20 mph in most places. Your mind could conjure up pictures of Ax Murderers wandering along the road to murder and terrify… and umm – AX people.

We didn’t run into any Ax Murderers. Still, it was quite a scary trip.

We were traveling to visit a college I’m interested in transferring too in Virginia. It was up in the mountains. As the road became increasingly curvy, Mom became increasingly car sick.

“Why are we here? I have a balance disorder! I feel sick! I hate you, Terry,” she moaned from the backseat where she sat with Chloe. Dad at first defended himself, but then meekly apologized as she continued to pipe up at rather random moments that she “hated him”. (He said later she said the same thing when she was giving birth to me, so he figured she was just in pain and didn’t mean it).

Poor Mom. I offered to switch seats with her as I was in the front, but she refused. She finally started crying. After a couple of minutes, her crying stopped. I was relieved and glad she was feeling braver. I glanced into the backseat…

“Oh my gosh! She passed out!” I gasped. Dad flinched but kept driving. What could we do? We couldn’t stop, no civilization was in sight. (Besides, the Ax Murderers are out there!) Mom came back to consciousness finally.

She moaned, and asked if we were there yet (to which we lied and said, “almost”). She asked Dad to turn out the headlights. When he said he couldn’t, she told him she hated him, and asked for me to help her find her cochlear implant (which was actually attached to her head) and passed out again. This time she hit the window. I yelped for Dad to pull over. I crawled to the back to where she was at poked her gently. Chloe came up to bark at shadows (perhaps Ax Murderers) and it seemed to bring Mom back to consciousness. She asked why Chloe was barking and then basically repeated what she had said the first time she passed out. So… I sat in the back and held Mom up as she passed out another few times. I tell you what… there is nothing quite as scary as seeing your mom pass in and out of consciousness. I held my hand up to feel her breathing in and out, worried about how still she was.

We finally made it to our hotel. And Mom? Mom didn’t recall any of the events and felt bad about telling her husband she hated him a 100 times.

I was definitely thanking God she was okay and amused more than anything. She felt dizzy the rest of the night. I listened worriedly at the bathroom door when she took a shower, waiting for a “thunk” if she passed out. But she seemed to sleep it off and felt better the next day and was good on the way home.(We took a different route, and it was DAYLIGHT!)

Actually, the whole car trip could be seen as “life with someone with a disability“. As life became twisted and dark, Mom felt isolated from the world. But even in her isolation, her family was there. She was isolated from civilization, but we were there in the space (aka, car) with her. She may not have wanted to accept our help, but we were there for her. We held her up, encouraged her, and traveled to the end of the road with her. With God’s help, we brought her out of the depression and darkness and into contentment. Dad didn’t let her push him away, even when she said she hated him. He tried to fix it and carry her to safety. Chloe, didn’t know was going on honestly, but barked at the shadows that crept upon Mom. She stood over her in the dark, worried and trying to help. Many times Chloe helps chase away any gloom that Mom feels just because of her unconditional doggie love. I helped support her, and Chris prayed from home after getting a hysterical text from ME. Mom endured. And we arrived at the end of the road, to peace. We knew there would be other trips and roads, but we enjoyed the oasis of peace and look forward with the knowledge we’ll be okay. God is always there with us. And we always have each other =)

Kyersten Portis

(10 days shy of 19-years-old)

Denise Portis

… So Basically I’m GONNA LIVE FOREVER!

Published on January 13, 2009January 13, 2009 by hearingelmo5 Comments

green-tea

Green Tea from Costco … my favorite brand

Compelled to Change by Negative Triggers

About four months ago I caught a nasty 24 hour virus. The only thing unique about this virus was the timing of when the symptoms appeared. I had my morning coffee and THEN became sick.

Now you have to understand that I’ve been drinking coffee for twenty-four years. After years of going to school and working I found that I was a 4-cup a day, coffee drinking addict. I add that last part because frankly, my son reminds me that caffeine is a drug every chance he gets. (Darn, those assigned research papers on drugs in 9th grade! Could I have known he’d take this information to his grave?) I always get out of bed before my kids. In part, the result that MY alarm clock (Chloe, hearing assistance dog) does not have a “snooze button”. When it’s time to get up she… well, makes sure I’m UP! I normally hit the “on” button as I walk past the coffee maker. Alternating between French Vanilla, and Hazelnut sugar-free creamers, meant my coffee was my favorite part of the day. I will admit that the fact I had some quiet time to myself during this morning period, also contributed to it being the favorite part of my day.

Nothing spoils “a favorite” like a virus. When a stomach virus’s symptoms hit after having only consumed your morning coffee, little else “reappears” other than that coffee! I won’t go into all the gory details, but suffice it to say that I can no longer even SMELL coffee. Being married to a psychologist, I’m assuming I’m experiencing psychosomatic symptoms. The reality is I may simply have a very good memory. All I know is that I can no longer drink coffee.

But when one is addicted to caffeine, (repeated for the benefit of my 18-year-old son who continues to remind me about common, over-the-counter and legal stimulants), one can’t just ditch the coffee and survive. Yes, I realize I might should have taken this opportunity to “kick the habit” once and for all. Frankly, I love curling up with a hot cup of “something” first thing in the morning! Desperate to find a quick and painless alternative “source”, I turned to green tea.

Change Can Lead to Discovery

I love the fact that someone MY age can discover something new. Discovery? I love green tea. In fact, I drink green tea most of the day. After consuming approximately 4 cups of regular green tea, I drink decaf green tea the remainder of the day. In the four months I’ve been a tea drinker, I tried numerous brands and actually love them all. I do have a favorite, however, thanks to the Christmas gift of one of my students who happened to stick a few tea bags of Kirkland signature ITO EN into her “goodie basket”. (Thanks Sarahann!)

I received February 2009 Ladies Home Journal in the mail over the weekend. Saturday evening while trying to find something new to read before going to bed, I decided to curl up with the magazine (and a cup of decaf green tea of course!). The article, “The Healing Power of Tea” caught my eye. I learned that ANY kind of tea has health benefits, but green tea seems especially potent in protecting against some of even the deadliest diseases.

According to the article written by Paula Dranov, “… scientists are finding that drinking tea may keep your heart healthy, protect you from cancer, boost your body’s ability to fight off germs, strengthen your bones, prevent cavities and sharpen your concentration”. Evidently it lowers your LDL (“bad”) cholesterol as well as lowers the risk of plaque build-up in the arteries. It may lower the risk of a variety of deadly cancers, and boosts immunity to ward of bacteria and viruses… you know, the kind that make you throw-up your morning coffee! L-theanine seems to heighten concentration, and another antioxidant found in tea may stave off Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s! Tea even strengthens bones, and prevents cavities as it contains fluoride.

Now that I’m a tea drinker? Well, basically I’m GONNA LIVE FOREVER!

Good can come from even nasty viruses.

Compelled to Change by Negative Triggers – Part 2

Change can occur by design, but for me it is often because I’m forced to do so. Does that make me stubborn? (Hmm, scratching head and pondering that). I think I’m just a creature of habit. When change occurs in my life, it is usually because circumstances forced me to adapt.

No one ever asks for a disability. Whether congenital or adventitious, disabilities simply aren’t something one HOPES to learn to deal with in their life. I mean… life is hard enough! Yet, those I know with disabilities seem to be masters at learning to adapt and to change. That doesn’t mean it’s always done right – yet, change will happen. One must learn to do things a “new way”. Many times a person has to learn to ASK for help. Sometimes it means giving up some things you really loved, and learning to enjoy “replacement” activities instead. There are times you have to “take 5” and just feel sorry for yourself – as long as you get back out there and embrace life when your “5” are up!

I consider deafness and Meniere’s disease negative triggers. Yet the change wrought in my own life, has made me who I am. I am comfortable in my own skin, with all my gadgets and technology. I’m totally OK with being accompanied by an assistance dog, and I wear my hair up so that my cochlear implant and hearing aid are visible. However, I didn’t start out this way. At first, those triggers only caused me to isolate myself. I lived in a 24/7 pity party. I’m thankful for all I learned through HLAA and from a well-read Bible. Both were necessary and influential in my life.

Change Can Lead to Discovery – Part 2

Some people look at me like I’ve lost my mind when I explain I’d never want to hear normally (or walk a straight line). I like who I am. As I have not always “liked me”, I’m glad I can say that I do now. Change ultimately can bring a self-discovery of talents, skills, interests and passions that one never dreamed of before. With a little direction and “cheerleading” from those who have “been there”, change can be an easier transition for those learning to “ask those tough questions”. Why me? How can I cope? How can I work? How can I communicate? How can I ever be happy again?

The biggest plus to having a disability, is that one usually discovers what is really important. The things that use to “stress” me no longer do. (Likely, I have new stresses!). Life’s big picture sort of SNAPS into place when you have a disability. Family, friends, community, communication become really important. (Don’t believe for a second that someone who is deaf with a communication disorder cannot communicate. You simply aren’t listening!).

At times “getting there” is not an easy road. But the discovery of who I “am”, allows me to help others and make a difference in my own small corner of the world. Do you feel “change” coming? Don’t run from it. Stand still and let it happen. With the right attitude, support system, and even childlike faith, change can create very real and positive discoveries for YOU.

Denise Portis

What Came First?

Published on January 1, 2009January 1, 2009 by hearingelmo2 Comments

The Chicken or the Egg?

What came first, the chicken or the egg? That phrase brings a smile to my face every time I come across it. It has been the cause of many a debate from both my childhood and my present. I suppose I’ve always been surrounded by people who love to argue a point. Everyone knows the chicken came first. If you disagree with that… well, you’ll need to write your own post!

In life there are many cause and effect changes. These are either passionately discussed because of more serious consequences that can occur, or worse – not discussed at all due to what many may view as a “taboo” subject.

I’ve always been a “worrier”. I can remember hearing from my mother at a very young age, “Denise… don’t make mountains out of mole hills”. I was also told that if I didn’t have something to worry about, I’d work hard until I had found something to worry over. As an adult, I prefer to look at my “worryin’ over things” as my way of preparing, planning, and anticipating outcomes. Believe it or not, “worrying” calms me down.

But I am not misguided in believing that worry is the same thing as anxiety. I don’t remember being an anxious kid. “Worrier” – yes, anxious – no. I do know that I have had anxious periods in my life. I have a new “friend” who is a phenomenal writer. I’ve been pushing Lisa to investigate writing a book and hope I have finally twisted her arm in doing so. Having benefited from her wisdom and straight-forward speculations, I’ll be one of the first in line to buy several copies. She has been blogging about “anxiety” quite a bit lately. (If you have had problems with anxiety, I encourage you to begin reading her posts beginning here).

I have met many people with different types of disabilities. I have also met many “anxious” people. Often, those people are “one and the same”. What came first? The disability or the anxiety?

We Can Make Ourselves Sick

One doesn’t have to “google” stress and anxiety very long before they begin to find out these feelings can affect our physical health. Our body’s immune systems can even be weakened when exposed to stress for prolonged periods of time. Although “thinking happy thoughts” does not necessarily cure every ailment, being stressed, worried, anxious and pessimistic can certainly hinder our getting well.

Many physicians who specialize in critical care fields have long been taught how important it is to treat the patient’s mental and emotional state as well as their bodies. Even a patient’s spiritual beliefs can aid in recovery. Discovering (or re-discovering) hope and belief in God, can greatly benefit a patient who has experienced an injury or life-changing illness. My husband wrote his dissertation along these lines. His book is NOT easy reading – smile. Effects of Religiosity on Life Satisfaction Among Survivors of Brain Injury, was written after having seen the direct results of faith on patients with a TBI over a number of years. Terry researched whether or not people with brain injury have higher life satisfaction if they are involved in religious practices. People with brain injury traditionally have one of the lowest life satisfaction scores of any population. They have similar scores to people in prison! In contrast, if someone with a TBI has no faith – no belief system, they tend to have very low expectations and life satisfaction.

Disability or Anxiety?

So… which came first? Anxiety can certainly be triggered by “life events”, but it can also be a chemical imbalance in an individual. Anxiety disorders are serious. Feeling anxiety – an “anxiousness” – from time to time is not uncommon and even expected in this thing we live called LIFE. Can a disability, especially an acquired disability, cause us to feel anxious? Can that anxiety, ignored and untreated, lead to a disorder? Yes… and yes. However, one can have a disability and learn to “cope”. Learning to cope, and developing new interests, skills and networks, makes a disability more of a discovery! One learns how to acquire new ABILITIES.

Being disabled does not mean one is not “able”. Certainly being deaf and having Meniere’s disease, places me in a disability group, or category. I don’t consider myself disabled as long as I work hard at being “able”. A cochlear implant, support group, a service dog and advocating in a positive way, have allowed me to create a way to cope… to live in a normal way. I’m living a “new normal”. These activities keep me from feeling anxious.

Does that mean I never worry? Heck no! But worrying is not anxiety. If I begin to see a set pattern of anxiousness, I treat that very seriously. Why am I anxious? Has something triggered it? Am I eating right, sleeping well, and taking care of myself? However, WORRY is different than anxiety. I have plenty of daily worries that actually allow me to process things and plan my day.

Am I worried when I stand at the top of a stairwell with Chloe in heel, people milling all around me, and the room spinning counter-clockwise as I desperately try to adjust my eyes to the depth of the stairs below? Well YES! But that worry has allowed me to take steps (pardon the pun) in making it possible for me to traverse stairs safely. Chloe acts as a counter-balance, I instruct students around me that I’m not listening or talking until I get to the bottom… so don’t bother me, I breathe evenly and fix my eyes on no more than two steps at a time, and before I know it… I’m kissing the floor in relief at the bottom! (OK, that’s an exaggeration, but I certainly do feel euphoric!)

Do I feel anxious when my cochlear implant batteries go dead? (DUH) Of course I do! But my worrying about it happening at an inopportune moment, has led to a very real plan of action. I have batteries EVERYWHERE. They are in Chloe’s working vest, my pocketbook, the van, at home, and in my office. My CI is set up to give me a 20 minute warning beep. When I hear it, I continue with what I’m doing but I include a few moments to secure new batteries. I’m an expert at slipping out the battery compartment, punching out the three #675 batteries, and replacing them with finesse and speed. I’m never “deaf” for very long.

I plan in advance to get 8 to 10 hours of sleep each night. (Yes, you read that right). My sleeping a great deal is not a warning sign that I am depressed. I plan to sleep 8 to 10 hours a night! I make it a priority, and I’m often the first Portis in bed each night. I get a great deal of sleep because I’ve discovered that I “hear better” when I do. It takes a lot out of a person to hear through a cochlear implant. Lip reading is not easy. Making sense of the noise in my world takes concentration. I need sleep to function well.

Because of my Meniere’s disease, I consume less salt and caffeine. I take Manganese and working hard at trying to exercise regularly. (My sister and I have a New Year’s challenge to each other to do better at this!)

At the beginning of this school year, I worried like crazy about some of the things I’m required to go to as a teacher that are at night. Meniere’s has made driving at night difficult, as headlights from oncoming traffic trigger vertigo and make it difficult to see. The light acts as a “beacon” if you will, and my eyes are drawn to the counter-clockwise beams around me instead of the road ahead. I worried about how to tell my director that I couldn’t do things at night. But that “worrying” allowed me to plan how I would present my reasons and requests. She listened, and approved my request to not attend meetings after dark.

new-cane-016

To some people, all the things I do each day to be safe, hear well, and live a full and productive life may seem tedious and strange. But these things are “my normal”. These plans and daily preparations are not tedious and strange for ME. Santa Kyersten (my daughter) gave me a cane for Christmas. It was something on my wish list and for me, a necessary tool to live “my normal” on rainy days when my Meniere’s disease makes my balance much worse.

Disability, not Inability

Being disabled means one must find a way to do the things you want to do in a new way. My deaf/blind friends enjoy communicating with friends and relatives by utilizing both cochlear implants and JAWS (a screen reader program for those with visual challenges and impairments). My friends who have mobility challenges, use service dogs, walkers, canes or power scooters. Late-deafened people learn to speech read, use hearing aids, cochlear implants and assistive listening devices. I have chosen to have a partner to help of the canine variety! Chloe gives me independence and confidence.

I’m not trying to suggest that there are not things that every disability group are simply not able to do. I’m deaf. I’m not able to have a job that relies heavily on communication by phone. There are jobs I could never do that require being able to hear well. I’m afraid I’ll never be an Air Traffic Controller! However, the most empowering thing an individual with a disability can do is learn what they CAN do. We live in a wonderful day of technology and gadgets. I can do many things that I would not have been able to do had I become deaf even 20 years ago. When new people come to our local hearing loss support group, we work hard at helping them find ways to continue doing what they want to do at both work and home. There are times an impasse is reached, and we encourage finding NEW things that bring just as much joy and satisfaction as a past job or hobby.

One is only truly no longer “able”, when they give up and resign themselves to isolation and feelings of worthlessness. Yes… there are things I can no longer do that I once enjoyed. But people who cared “booted me in the backside” and encouraged me to find new things I could do! I have a disability, but I live a rich and full life. I feel productive and satisfied with my life.

I’m sure that being a person of faith, has made this transition to a “new normal” easier for me. My life can change, and my abilities may “morph”. God never changes, nor deviates from being my Anchor that HOLDS. The reality is… HE came “first“, and I work hard at keeping Him there in my life.

Denise Portis

Whew! Glad That is Over!

Published on December 18, 2008December 18, 2008 by hearingelmo5 Comments

post-surgery-001

Chloe sleeps, and Sleeps, and SLEEPS!

My vet agreed to do Chloe’s surgery first yesterday as it was considered “minor”, and so that I could get her home earlier than the official 7 PM “release time”.

At 5 PM we arrived at the vet, only to have to sit through post-surgical instructions, paying for the procedure, etc. I was about to yell, “BRING ME MY DOG NOW!” Grin! Good thing my daughter was along to “pinch me if needed” to make sure I stayed calm.

Finally they brought Chloe out to me and she practically drug the vet tech all the way over to Kyersten and I. I asked another question about the sutures, and so had to wait around for the answer. Chloe was “all a-tremble”, and Kyersten told me she was whining the entire time. Normally, I would “shush” Chloe for making noise in public, but under the circumstances? I let her whine.

She woke me up around 2 AM, and I took her outside for about 10 minutes. We walked around a little and she did a “hurry up”, but then just stood outside in the cold with her head and down and eyes closed. (She sleeps standing up a lot, actually!) I finally coaxed her back inside, and put her back to bed. I turned the flashlight on every few minutes, and could see that she was laying down in her bed next to me on the floor, but she wouldn’t put her head down. Likely that ear is sore, and they do sort of HANG. At about 3 AM, I noticed she finally put her head down again.

It was strange waking up before Chloe (and a full 83 minutes after my alarm usually goes off each morning!) I was determined to not make her work today so deliberately did not set my alarm. She was surprised to find me gently nudging her awake.

The hot water for my tea kettle had to be watched extra carefully with my eye on my watch. I didn’t set the kitchen timer for her to let me know when it was “near whistling”. I’m staying home today for Chloe’s sake. She’s on antibiotics, but no pain killers. Actually, the toughest job I’ve had so far this morning was keeping our Elkhound puppy from playing with her. Her ears are a favorite target!

Thanks for all the prayers and good wishes for Chloe. My “inbox” has simply stayed “full” with inquiries and best wishes. We will get the biopsy results by Monday, but the vet told me to “absolutely not worry about it, as she certainly wasn’t”.

post-surgery-002

Chloe has a little “notch” in her ear now, but you can’t hardly see it unless you are looking for it. She’s still a beautiful red-head! Grin!

Denise Portis

A Disability May Keep You From WANTING to Come… but I NEED YOU TO COME!

Published on November 7, 2008November 10, 2008 by hearingelmo3 Comments

Kyersten (18-years-old) is a contributor to Hearing Elmo. She has only known her mother as a person with hearing loss. Recognizing, supporting, and loving a parent with hearing loss and balance problems, does not mean that sometimes it is acknowledged that the disability GETS IN THE WAY.

On October 25^th, 2008, my Dad, Mom, and I woke up at “4 something” in the morning. The horror! The earli-ness! With bleary eyes and a lot of yawns, we stumbled to the car in order to drive about three hours to visit Waynesburg University. Waynesburg is the first on my list of colleges to visit. I am currently trying to decide where to transfer, and my parents are supporting me in my quest for the Perfect Fit.

The trip was uneventful, but rainy and foggy. We were rather glad to finally arrive.

We arrived a bit later than we had hoped, so Dad dropped mom and I off and went to park. Mom and I stood patiently (okay… impatiently) urging Chloe to “hurry up” (go to the bathroom). It was very wet and she was stubborn, so we went inside. We were greeted by a very sweet “student ambassador” and I was given a packet of information.

Mom and I then went to “hurry up” ourselves. Next, we walked into the main room, with Dad, who had arrived rather “wet”. A lady gestured us toward some seats and we sat down, only to stand up ten minutes later (having missed most of the introduction remarks).

Mom went outside to encourage Chloe to “hurry up”, as she still had not yet gone. She went ahead of us, so Dad and I lost track of where she was. I told Dad to go look for her, and continued on with the group. I felt a little awkward being the only student in the tour group without parents, but, I told myself I was learning to be independent.

Dad texted me and soon found me with the group. He was by himself. Mom had stayed in the van with Chloe.

So, Dad and I continued on the tour. I got a text from my mom. Her texts always make me smile; they are full of the shortened words associated with someone wanting to get a message to someone in as little time as possible, “Do not worry about me. chloe and me r hangn at van. tell dad 2 stay with u. am dizzy nyway!” I didn’t know until later that she had cried for a good twenty minutes as she texted that.

Dad and I continued the tour, which was very interesting. I really loved the small, yet beautiful, friendly college. Despite the rain, you could see the beauty of the architecture of the buildings, as well as the small-town charm of the city surrounding it.

After the tour, my Dad and I walked quickly back to the van to fetch Mom. She was surprised to see us and a little hesitant, but she “dressed” Chloe in her vest and accompanied us as the rain had stopped. We went to find the classroom where our meeting with a psychology professor was being held. (My chosen major is psychology). The building was at the bottom of a flight of stairs. Mom wasn’t sure she could make it, and hesitated. A helpful woman saw us and showed us to another floor, from where we took the elevator down to the floor where our meeting was located. After that meeting, we made our way to the bookstore.

Mom and I had a small argument about colleges on our way to the bookstore. Frustrated, I went to search for a sweatshirt. Mom came into the store.

“Hey, want to help me find a good color?” I asked.

“I’m really dizzy, I am going to stand here,” she answered. I clenched my teeth and continued shopping. I felt selfish for being aggravated at mom for not coming to help me.

We then made our way to the cafeteria, everyone’s tempers now on edge. A woman stopped us as we tried to go into the cafeteria.

“Is that a seeing eye dog?” she asked suspiciously.

Mom looked surprised and offended, “I am not blind,” she said quickly. She then launched into her speech about what Chloe did and the law that allows Chloe to accompany Mom anywhere. Mom then offered to give the lady literature. The woman refused, saying she”just hadn’t seen something like Chloe before”.

We went to find a table. Dad went to go get his and mom’s food as it was a buffet-type of cafeteria. Handling an assistance dog at a buffet is NOT easy business!

“Do you think I should give the lady literature about assistance dogs on our way out?” Mom asked.

“No, she said she didn’t want it,” I answered.

Mom and I are A LOT alike in many areas, but when it comes to conflict, we handle it differently. Admittedly, mine is probably a worse way to handle it. I withdraw and avoid conflict. Mom isn’t scared of it, and wanted to make sure the woman didn’t bother other assistance teams in the future.

She said as much.

“I just shouldn’t have come; I’m obviously not doing any good. I wish to God y’all had left me in the car,” Mom said.

I started crying.

Now ANYONE who knows me knows that… a) I am not a crier b) I dislike crying, and c) I never, EVER cry in public.

The meal went downhill from there. I refused to eat, so Mom refused to eat. Dad had a concerned look on his face, but it didn’t stop him from eating his plate of food and Mom’s. Such a man.

I went to the car to get away from everything, Mom following behind, Dad finishing the meal and then coming after us.

We worked it out. That’s what a family does after all; you HAVE to live with each other, so HAVE to resolve issues.

Mom was upset because she felt like I was purposefully disagreeing with everything she said.

I was upset because I felt like she didn’t want to be involved anymore.

I know my mom has a disability, two actually, if you count her balance. I know that there are some things she can’t do. Dad and I mentioned a couple of times on the tour that it was good she didn’t come. With the slippery sidewalks, lots of stairs, and a tour guide he and I couldn’t even hear sometimes, she would not have enjoyed it. However, I want her to be as involved in my hunt for the Perfect Fit as much as she can. She’s my mom.

She and I are a lot alike. And she knows me better than anyone. Dad’s advice I greatly appreciate and value. However, he has more of a Type A, competitive personality, whereas I have a quieter personality. His idea of the Perfect Fit would probably not be the same as mine.

To me, this is one of the last things in my life that I will need my parent’s involvement. It’s a huge step into the world of adulthood and responsibility.

I don’t want Mom to let her disability keep her from being my Mom. I realize she may not be able to do everything or may have to have special accommodations to be able to do some things. But the extra work to allow her to come along is worth it, because she is my mom. I need her… just the way she is.

Kyersten Portis

—————-

Denise Portis

Harpers Ferry Sees a lot of US

Published on November 4, 2008November 4, 2008 by hearingelmoLeave a comment

Denise and Chloe at Jefferson Rock in Harpers Ferry State Park, October 2008

We go to Harpers Ferry a great deal. For one thing it is within “spittin’ distance” of our home. Secondly, the view and park is simply breath-taking. No matter what time of year we go, it’s beautiful. I keep telling Terry that when we retire one day, I want to live in the historic section of Harpers Ferry. (I think he thinks I’m teasing!)

Going to Harpers Ferry is much more fun than it use to be. For one thing, I love hearing the trains thanks to the miracle of “hearing again“. For another, I don’t have near the number of falling or stumbling accidents that I use too “pre – Chloe”. Having a hearing assistance dog who also helps with a great number of balance related tasks makes me much more independent. There is one flight of stone steps that I literally CRAWLED up prior to having her counter-balance on the left! I “see more” of Harpers Ferry than I use too! Grin!

Denise Portis

I May be NAKED, but I HEAR Well!

Published on October 7, 2008October 7, 2008 by hearingelmoLeave a comment

Gingery’s Baby Pegasus (Owner: Kyersten Portis, one of the writers of Hearing Elmo)

Pegasus may be naked as a jay-bird, but he has excellent ears. (Side note: Exactly HOW naked is a “Jay Bird”? Has anyone ever really looked that up? Food for thought… )

As a matter of fact, Fidos For Freedom, Inc., the organization from which my hearing assistance/balance dog Chloe comes, also trains Chinese Crested as hearing dogs. It doesn’t matter if you have very little hair. You can not only be a great pet or show dog, but you can actually be trained to assist someone with a disability. (What a PLUS to be hypo-allergenic as well! Chinese Crested have HAIR, not FUR).

Working dogs come in all shapes and sizes. It reminded me of what “hearing loss” looks like as well. “Hearing loss” doesn’t “look like” any one thing. Its causes are as varied as a dog’s “looks” or “degree of hair”. Fever, ototoxic drugs, accidents, genetics and “cause unknown” are all reasons a person may have a hearing loss.

Different ages of people can develop hearing loss. Some children are born with hearing loss, and thanks to infant hearing screening, many are discovered at a very early age. This helps in the long-run with speech development and language skills.

Some women develop hearing loss after having children. The link has yet to be clearly defined by doctors. (My own progressive hearing loss began after having children).

Some people do not develop hearing loss until they have worked a long period of time at a particular “noisy” job. (My father-in-law worked as a printer for decades. All that time around noisy machinery has taken it’s toll).

Some people have SHL, or “sudden” sensorineural hearing loss. Many of our soldiers are coming home with significant hearing loss due to road-side bombs and other “war noises” they are exposed to each day.

Some people have “age-related” hearing loss. How many of you have grandparents who now wear hearing aids? (or should – grin)

Hearing loss is not a “respecter of persons”. It can affect every age, gender, race, or religion. Economics, education, nor “looks” prevent someone from having a hearing loss. Hearing loss is wide-spread. (In the U.S., alone there are over 36 million people with hearing loss!)

Particular personality types are not exempt from hearing loss. If you are sanguine and outgoing, hearing loss is just as devastating to you as it is to a quiet melancholy.

Hearing loss and personality types? Sounds like the title of a blog post. (I’ll get started on that and ask my psychologist hubby to write!)

Denise Portis

A Number of “Firsts”

Published on July 14, 2008July 14, 2008 by hearingelmo1 Comment

Kyersten (my 18-year-old daughter) and I went to Florida last week to stay with my parents. It was a “senior” trip of sorts. We didn’t really DO anything, but both of us needed a week of “not doing anything”. Mom and Dad had company the week before we came, so I think they were perfectly fine with Kyersten and I coming to read, walk, “hang-out” and practice laziness.

Chloe didn’t do well on the plane trip there. She has flown a great number of times with trainers, but this was only the third time with me. We only travel by plane about 2 times a year now. That’s infrequent enough that she is still nervous. At least on the plane ride home, she did better thanks to some homeopathic, herbal help from Rescue Remedy.

Chloe is trained to do a “stand/stay” while being searched for security purposes. We even practiced this at Fidos For Freedom the Saturday before we left for our trip. Chloe has so much metal on her due to 6 tags, collar, vest, etc., that she always sets the security bells and whistles off. (I find it amusing that my cochlear implant, hearing aid, etc., all allow me through without problem!) The security lady asked me prior to searching Chloe… “Does she bite?” I assured her with a grin that “she doesn’t bite, but she may KISS you!”.

Wouldn’t you know that Chloe would go all a-wiggle with the search, kissing the agent to the point that it plopped her on her behind? She was laughing so hard she could hardly “search” Chloe correctly. The laughter only made Chloe more excited. Chloe can be SO professional when needed! (eye roll)

We had a series of “firsts” that I thought I’d post through picture/caption. They may not have been complete “firsts” for her as Chloe was raised by a puppy raiser, and then trained in a couple different trainer’s homes. But they were FIRSTS for “us”.

FIRST! Florida heat and humidity!

FIRST! Florida sunset!

FIRST! Florida thunderstorm! (And I could “hear” it! Was I thrilled or what?)

FIRST! Learning hardwood floors are cooler!

FIRST! Indoor pond in a “birdcage”

FIRST! Pond goldfish IN the indoor pond!

FIRST! Porch swing… and Grandma’s Cockapoo, Simba!

FIRST! Sandhill Cranes! Kyersten told me they sounded like “Velocoraptors” from Jurassic Park. They certainly weren’t scared of Chloe. They were aggressive!